The problem with relational posts is that, for me, they are all that I am academically, professionally, and privately.
I think about writing NaBloPoMo posts utilizing the writing prompts and the task feels heavy. The closer I get toward beginning to step near relativity, relationally, relating-type things the higher my anxiety raises.
"This is a thesis for me," I think. "I cannot honor this subject nor can I begin without thinking through what one piece, one concept, one idea might be. And should I do that, it will only be connected to another, and another, and another."
When I was in my master's program, I sometimes read 1,000 pages of textbook material or research articles per week. We all referred to the learning curve like "drinking water from a fire hydrant," full on, unstoppable, all consuming, unmanageable.
That's what I fear. I fear if I begin writing about relational things, all that water I drank will come up and not stop...not stop until the well has run dry. Not stop until my fingers protest and my brain is fatigued and my thoughts are spent with nothing left.
That's how I feel tonight. But knowing the purging effect of writing my thoughts, I also know that perhaps writing this post will be the key to the door that allows me to write about That subject.
Find me at the Red Dirt Chronicles...
Best, Red Dirt Kelly
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