The PollyAnna Spiritualist
Oh we know who they are. The folks who have nary a frown, or contorted expression.Folks who speak in such flowery expressions of optimism that you wonder if the drugs they are on are available to the masses.
There are those who float through life without many life challenges. Their bills are always paid on time; they have more money in the bank than they will spend; they are healthy and they believe everyone who doesn't live like them, are obviously not doing something right. Either you have too much negativity; or you are really not that connected with God; you have a monkey on your back; or you just don't have the wherewithall to balance life . Poor you, they may say, I will pray for you. Uh Oh...You have allowed your vulnerability to spill all over a "Pollyanna Spiritualist". Now what to do to bring balance and sense into a shakey psyche.
Having raised myself on understanding the universal/spiritual principles of life as well as a lifelong student of spirituality , I accept I will never have all of the answers to my questions in this lifetime.I can , however, accept that the knowing I have within me , is an invaluable guide of insight and comfort as I journey through my daily awareness and challenges. The fact is, to remain positive all of the time, is exhausting. To put attention on 'trying' to be positive is inauthentic, false, and stunting.
Having always been in connection with my spiritual voice, and knowing what connection to divine spirit feels like, I have been a little bit of the uncommon soul of spirituality. See, I don't take the old road of hell and damnation.Nor do I take the road of inflicted hardship.I don't resonate with a God who is a punishing God, I believe our choices govern our outcomes, and by the guiding light of God we have unexpected blessings. I feel we have given God a voice he didn't ask for, when we put parameters upon laws and rules with our bodies, and call it out in the name of God. I don't believe God cares if we are gay or straight, and I also believe that living spiritually is a life style, a choice in all areas of life and balance, being mindful and kind, in support of others less fortunate, and striving to know unconditional love; Spirituality does not justify an hour service on Sunday .
I see life as our gift.Sometimes the gift has a chip in it and needs a little superglue.Other times the gift may be offering a lesson that is very painful at first, but beneficial in the end. I see God as our loving guide, support, inspiration and supreme love. I don't see the need for more pain or negativity in the world; but I also don't turn a blind eye when reality is bleek , standing before me. I value real. I honor authenticity. I believe genuine true blue souls, rock!! What I struggle with, is the ones who live life more privileged without struggle of the daily grind, those who don't worry about making their mortgage or rent; those who travel to spiritual workshops in remote domains, most others can only wish upon, those are the ones who come back from their retreats, feeling oh so holy and special, and decide to tell you what you are doing wrong spiritually. Certainly if you just thought positively, visualized financial freedom, meditated in gratitude, and gave generously of what you do have to others, then surely the universe will reward you. Really?~Pure hogwash!! All those practices are benefical, but they are not the antithesis to pain and hardship. When pain and hardship occurs, feeling through it and processing it, is the only way to heal it. How if we are healing from pain, can we be authentic with a pollyanna personality? We can't, so don't try.
I'm all about being optimistic, and overall I am a very optimistic person. However, I am not going to pretend I never have a negative thought, I will never pretend to not get angry, I will defend myself and my value against another who tries to devalue me, I will also call out a stranger if I see abuse in my presence. What I have learned about our present soul searching universe is this; people want to feel connected to something greater than what they know. People want to feel something other than what they are presently feeling. People want change, but are also scared of change. People want to evolve, but to do so, means addressing unresolved emotions and pains.This is why we have pollyanna spiritualists who are actually reality avoiders.
Many spiritual writers have coined this avoidance as"spiritual bypassing'. It is when you use spirituality as the excuse to avoid anything that may appear uncomfortable or negative or confrontational. It is the aspect of denying the pain within and putting on a smile and sunshiny demeanor regardless of the fact that you want to go pull the duvet over your head and cry. Now, I am not saying allow yourself to carry around the snot rag all day, but I am saying allow yourself time to cry if needed. Love yourself first, enough, to honor your pain.
Allow yourself to take a stand.Have an opinion, be confrontational if it is a belief you are strong about, address passive aggressive behavior in others as a means of addressing your self respect. Know that to be real, to be authentic, and to be in the present moment, means you will be feeling emotions but you don't have to allow emotions to rule you.You can feel, process and file away the information for future decision making. You can disagree, have an argument and not have it escalete into chaos. Spirituality is not about putting on a fake smile and exuding positive energy, or being so afraid to be real because of fear of judgement. Those who are really authentic will easily see through your smile to the hidden pain and fear behind your eyes.
So, it really is best to relax into your authentic soul of the day, and work within that. If you wake up worried about a child's poor decision making and the argumant you had with your sister, you have a choice. You can evaluate the situation again through calmer emotions, and allow for mistakes. Gently go through your day, knowing self nurture should not be far from your mind, and be real within your soul. I don't mean be sullen and negative and harsh everyone around you, I am saying be easy on yourself by knowing real emotions are valued; fake faces and energies are not. Being real , being authentic is all about loving yourself.It is not about only loving the lovable parts of yourself; it is also about loving that temper, that controller, that aspect of self that we may not love , really, but we accept and work to improve upon. In knowing self, we evolve soul.In honoring truth, we value authenticity. By being present, we don't miss a beat in the tune of our life.
Remember, when others tell you how you should be,act, feel, process, look....remember that to avoid negative emotions does not heal them; it just pushes the emotion down until it is triggered like a sleeping giant, and creates destruction in its wake. Allow your voice to be heard to the advisor, and if the advice was not asked for, speak your peace.Let this person know that what you are going through will eventually evolve you to new highs of appreciation of life, "why" your friend may ask, "oh, because I am genuine with what I feel today." Now, you were just the subtle teacher, and it can be our little secret...I guarantee your friend will be racking their brain with this new founded awareness from you. Good job!!
Nobody likes a phony, you feel the phony like a sticky film ; people resonate with truth and soul, so to be real, to be comfortable in your vulnerability, makes you a living and walking teacher of life. Those who meld in your happy life of real, will be authentic too, because like attacts like, and the more aware we are to what we want in our life and what we don't want, the more authentic life shows up for us.
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