People question why I blog. I have been blogging on different platforms since 2000. I do it for myself. For my well-being. To share my story.
People question if I/we are adopting to just get a child. Yes, of course. We want a son or daughter. Or both. But also to raise them and make them even more amazing little people.
People question why my blog is all "me", "my", and "I". Well... do you see a child placed in our home? I certainly don't.
People question if I truly want a child or just the experience. Let me tell you, this experience is so difficult and emotionally taxing, so it's definitely not for that. I want a child. We want a child. We want to be parents together.
People question how I am so open about everything. What do I have to hide? Don't read it if you think I'm too open or if it makes you uncomfortable.
People question why I post so much about the adoption process. If it helps one person then it's all worth it. Seriously. I felt completely lost at the beginning and would have loved to read a real story of someone's process while I was going through it. So many adoption blogs are international, private, and/or infant. I'm not saying mine is unique, but also, that's exactly what I'm saying.
People question what will happen if our future child reads this. Is that a bad thing? I have nicknames for everyone that needs their identity protected. It also shows just how much we want them and how far we've come to be their parents.
People question why we're not longer visiting with Ballerina. It's not a story to tell on a public forum. There are so many details and reasons, but the main reason is bc she no longer wants it. As a teenager, she had every right to put on the brakes for any reason and she did.
People question how I'm handling the loss of a potential placement. Poorly. I am even more emotional these days. Mostly bc we don't know why. We did everything right as far as we can tell. We followed all the proper procedures. We were a great fit with her and for her. We would have rocked her 48+ months until she turned 18 and helped her in so many ways.
We don't know if she will change her mind and want to visit with us again, but we're not banking on it. It is honestly easier that way as much as it hurts.
People tell me that I am amazing for wanting to adopt an older child. Thanks. But we're not doing it to be amazing. We're doing it to complete our family in a way that makes sense to us.
And finally, to the people that never (or almost never) question my sanity, reasons and motives for doing all of the above, you're awesome! Thank you for standing by our sides and enjoying reading about our journey. This has already been a 14 month journey and there is no end in sight. Even if we were to finalize an adoption tomorrow, I wouldn't give up all the truly amazing friends I have made along the way. I honestly don't know how we would get through this whole thing without the support of our family, friends, and new friends.
Read all about our adoption journey on my blog @ BeccaBlogs.com
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