I have made it to day #3 of my Painful Truth month relatively unscathed.
Day 3: I will sacrifice almost anything to avoid a fight. I used to love a good argument but now I avoid arguing at all costs, even if I am right, even if the cost is too high. That is unacceptable.
In theory, being honest and regaining my backbone should be easy. All I have to do is open my mouth and let the things creeping just behind my lips slip out.
But I am afraid. I am afraid if I say what I mean and set boundries for how I will be treated my husband and I will fight all of the time, the kids will get stressed out, and my boss will fire me.
Let's dwell in that a moment...
If my husband and I fight all the time, is that bad? No. We will either A) get to the bottom of our differences and iron them out or B) decide it is impossible and seperate. Either solution is an improvement over living a lie.
My husband and I fighting may stress the kids out. It will also teach them that I am a person who stands up for what she believes, for herself, and for her kids. It will teach them that not all conflict is negative. Conflict can be a powerful catalyst for change.
My boss isn't going to fire me. I literally do the work of 5 people and he's getting a hell of a deal with me, even if he gives me a raise. And when I'm really honest with myself, I'd rather be writing than running his company any way.
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