Our Quest, Part I

5 years ago

Where have I been? Well, crazy things have been happening around here.

First there was this:

And then a week later there was a phone call from my doctor saying it was over. Not a viable pregnancy.

But actually, before any of that, there was a lot of this:

Which is a story I probably should have told a long time ago. But instead, here we are.

Some of you may have picked up on the fact that our idea of and struggle to "become parents" had expanded beyond adoption (though we are still pursuing that, as well). But to some, this may be surprising news. There is a lot to tell, so much to unpack here.

I want to write about it all, and I will.

This is not the post I wanted to be writing first though. I thought I'd be revealing the exciting news of a pregnancy, of impending motherhood. But this happened instead, a miscarriage, and I can't not write about it. 

Right now I'm trying to process everything. How we came to the decision to pursue conception alongside adoption, how I spent nearly a year failing to get pregnant, the shock of a positive pregnancy test, the week I spent celebrating that victory, and then dealing with the loss of the pregnancy and everything that was attached to it. It's a lot.

Shannon Z


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