Other People's Comments

5 years ago

This post isn’t about comments on my blog or whoring for more comments on my blog.  This post isn’t about some big fat meanie who left a bad comment or a comment I saw somewhere else that made me roll my eyes and say “Are you kidding me?”  This post is about me leaving comments on other people’s blogs.

I participate in a few link-ups and blog hops.  It is encouraged that when you link up, you visit other participants, read, and perhaps leave a comment.

However, when I go to another person’s blog and I try to leave a comment, my comments never show up.

I understand that people have moderated comments or first comment moderated or they’re not home when I leave the comment.  I’m not questioning that, nor do I expect that my comment should show up in five minutes.  I understand that moderated comments are a protection against spam.  Many times, I’m leaving my very first comment on their blog.  But when I go back to the post, my comment isn’t there.   But people who commented after I did have theirs posted.


I don’t think I left a comment that was a flame or a troll.  Yes, I am opinionated.  And yes, I’m not afraid of speaking my mind, either.  I’ve read some posts in the past that made me angry, started a comment, and then walked away without ever hitting submit.  I’ve started typing, re-read what I typed and then toned down the language before I posted.  But I would never flame someone’s post or attack them personally.  I can disagree with someone respectfully.  I don’t think this is some conspiracy against me, either.

What’s going on?

Did my comment not shower this morning?  Does my comment have bad breath?  Flatulence?

What is the deal?  Is this a matter of my comment going to spam and the blog owner not checking their spam folders?  Is there something in my information that trips a spam filter?

Am I supposed to actually register with you to leave a comment?

Please tell me.  I’d like to know because if it’s something on my end, I can fix it.

I’m going to be honest here.  When I leave a comment on someone else’s blog, and I come back much later and it’s not there but people who left comments after I did have theirs show up,  it makes me less likely to continue reading that person’s blog or recommending their blog to other people to read.  This is happening to me quite a bit lately where I’m beginning to wonder what exactly is going on.

What prompted me to write this post was seeing a tweet on Twitter where the blogger was wondering why nobody commented on this particular post.  So I went and I read the post and I left a comment.  Or so I thought.  It didn’t show up right away, so I assumed it went into moderation.  No big deal.  So I decided to wait. I went back to the post the next day to see if anyone replied to it and my comment was not there.  People who commented after I did had their comments showing up.  My comment was nowhere to be seen.

I’ve noticed this problem particularly with self-hosted blogs that use the comment system that came with the program.  I’ve never had this problem when I left a comment on a blog that used a third party comment system like Disqus or the Blogger comment system.  I recently switched to a third party comment system because WordPress was kicking comments into moderation that shouldn’t have gone there in the first place.

As bloggers, we all want people to read what we write.  We want people to comment on what we write.  And we’re hurt when we work so hard on a post and we pour our sweat and our hearts into it and nobody comments.  Writing and blogging involves egos to varying degrees. When no one seems to care, it hurts.

On the other hand, how are we, the audience, supposed to feel encouraged to leave a comment or visit you when we take the time to leave something thoughtful and it never shows up?

As it is disheartening for you, the blog author, to pour your heart out into a post or write something you’re proud of and nobody leaves a comment, it is just as disheartening for the reader to take the time to leave a comment on what you wrote and it never shows up.   It makes them feel like they’re not welcome on your blog.  If they don’t feel welcome, they’re going to tell other people to stay away from you.

I’m going to be honest again.  I’m beginning to feel this way about some of the blogs I visit where my comments never show up and I’m starting to think twice about visiting them again.

The next time a blogger complains about not getting comments, or wanting more readers,  it’s going to give me pause.  I’m going to ask myself the question, Is this a blog where I tried to leave a comment in the past and it never showed up? 

Bloggers, please check your spam folders.  You may be surprised to find that you are getting more comments than you actually are.  And if you notice that someone’s comments are always going to spam, please tell that person this is happening.  They may have no idea that the information they entered is tripping your spam filter.   It’s not worth alienating readers over something that can be easily corrected.

This is an article written by one of the incredible members of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.

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