Another milestone has been reached. Today, I passed the second of the four exams I need in order to legally advise my husband's clients. I am now able to actually discuss some of their accounts with them, and it is such a relief to me. I confess to having avoided telephone calls so that I might not have inadvertently said something in violation of the securities laws. But now I can actually call a client and thank her for the gift she made in my husband's honor.
This comes after having dreamt of my husband last week, on the heels of the encounter with the gift card. I have only dreamt of him a few times since he died, maybe two or three times at the most. The dream itself was upsetting enough, in that I needed help with my husband when he was in danger or trouble or distress. I'm not sure which; you know how dreams can be. But the really disturbing thing was the attempt by the evil one to convince me that my faith was not sufficient to keep my husband alive.
It took a long tearful conversation with a good friend and wise woman to help me see this attack for what it was. I may not know until I go Home myself exactly what happened during those last days. But I do know that my husband and his choices determined what happened.
My faith is the only thing that enables me to keep going. I never wanted to be a financial advisor, but it is clearly what God wants me to do. And I have no idea of what the long term looks like, but I know God has a plan for me and it is good. So I will just keep doing the next step, seeking Him and His will for me. Right now it's to keep going on these licenses. He will show me the next thing after that, when I need to know it.
And that will be good.
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