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There is a healthy dose of bitter that goes with every sweet moment of motherhood. Having Levi has made my heart swell with love and all sorts of crazy strong emotions. It is nearly overwhelming. Sometimes the idea of another baby seems impossible and when I see my mommy friends with more than one child I just don't know how they do it! Last night I told my friend that I didn't think I wanted anymore children and she was surprised because I love being a mommy so much. I understand children are blessings from God, and I am open to blessings but if I am honest with myself I am not open to the idea of another baby. When Levi was a newborn I wanted 10 babies. Things were easy then. He slept 20 hours a day.
Surely one day I will get “baby fever”. If so, may this post serve as a reminder of this day. This day I -well he- woke up at 5 a.m., again! This is the day after Levi got not one, but two top teeth, he cried and cried. I haven’t slept more than 4 consecutive hours in months! I need sleep. All of my days are filled with him crawling everywhere to play with every thing besides his toy (oh no… I’m going soft)! I love chasing his butt everywhere and even when he cries he is cute! I love watching him play with our dog, Charlie and love watching him nap. Maybe a second baby would be different. Maybe I would be more confident and less unsure of myself. Who knows!? I have mad respect for mothers of more than one!