By: Wendy Castellanos-Wolf
Is it me, or is time speeding up? As a kid the days felt endless. In my twenties, the days were full but time never surprised me the way it does now as a woman in her thirties. I can hardly look at a calendar without cringing and experiencing an internal clamor that demands to know “Where the F did the time go?!” Popular Science Magazine explains that the rotation of the Earth around the Sun is slowing down and that 140 million years from now humans could be living out 25 hour days. So again, if science has already proven that the days are ever so slightly getting longer, why do I instead feel like the days are getting shorter? I’ve tried to explain this phenomenon to myself and what I have come up with, is that I have more to do.
I’m not talking about just the mundane like washing dishes and the need to modify my personal grooming routine as I discover tiny wrinkles and the emergence of ever more gray hairs… (Ok, I really want to expand on the latter comment but I will save that for another ranting blog post about aging.) What I mean is that my twenties were a fun period of discovery and experimentation. I always had a lot to do, but it was (and allow me to get a bit new agey here), an unconscious time. As if feeling my way through the darkness, I did everything from instinct or by chance. And when one has no specific goals or troubles, time cruises by unannounced and undisturbed.
In my thirties I have decided and defined what I want to spend my time learning, doing and focusing on. It is this awareness that makes time seep away like water cupped in my bare hands. All of the sudden, when I began to pursue very specific personal and professional goals, time sped up.
I don’t want to get into detail, but my life drastically changed 3 years ago right before I turned 30. With more responsibility than I had ever had in my life prior to that, feeling like the freedom I had enjoyed up until then taken from me, and a sudden awareness of what I wanted to do in my life, I embarked on a frantic and stressful journey that has lasted 3 years. I am exhausted! My circumstances have not changed drastically but my perspective and how I react to certain situations has. In these past 3 years I have learned to be an adult, even if most of the time I still feel or act like a kid in private.
In my Dance career I have always been great at quick changes. I act quickly and precisely and I do not get nervous. I have been able to do this because I prepare ahead and I do one thing at a time. In 2014, I have consciously decided to embark on a new journey. One where life reflects one of my backstage quick changes, where no matter how stressed or how fast the clock is ticking, I am the master of my own time, seconds are plenty and with a confident calm, I can accomplish everything I want to do.
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