Not sure swimming lessons was such a great idea after all.

5 years ago

I had a genius idea a few weeks ago that I wanted to take Bug to swimming lessons.  I know Mol was a fish growing up and she started with baby swim lessons so I figured her babe should have that too. 

After calling around a bit I found a place in Apple Valley that happens to have “dolphin pups” classes on Wednesdays at 11am so – yesterday – I signed us up. 

At 10am I’m looking at the clock trying to time my arrival just so.  I had no idea which bathing suit to wear, certainly the Mexican-beach-maximum-tan one wouldn’t do nor would the sassy one with the beads so I threw on the 2-piece Speedo that I haven’t worn in, oh, 15 years and yes it was a little saggy here and there but I figured that should be just about right.

10:30 Bug’s waiting on me in the car seat while I get all our stuff together and she’s rubbing her eyes to let me know that it’s nap time.  Not a good sign of things to come. Off we go to Wise Swim School.  We conspicuously pull into a parking lot full of minivans and SUVs in my 2-door and I do my usual laborious removal of baby/seat while young mom next to me coolly, casually, effortlessly gets Henry (I now know his name) our of their 2012 minivan extraordinaire.

Enter lobby and I am required to buy a plastic diaper cover upper, we go with the 12 month size (even though she’s 6 months old) and into the “family changing room” we go.   The plastic pull overs are a bit snug but we’re running out of time so we’ll keep them.  Getting her suit on was another ordeal and I’m not going to lie – I was nervous and my hands were shaking a little bit but after 3 attempts we finally managed to get the shoulder strap unwrapped from around her leg and properly placed about her shoulder. 

Into the pool area we go.  What am I doing here? She’s curious, I’m curious, we're taking it all in and then it's time to get into the pool.  It’s super warm, we’re both happy about this.  It’s me and Bug, mom and Henry and mom and Victoria.  Henry and Victoria are both at an age where kids walk – no idea – but they’re bigger and they’re pretty excited and Bug is not excited.  She’s tired – she tried telling me this 30 minutes ago.  So she cried and cried and her nose ran and her tears flowed and she cried for 15 of the 30 minutes of our first lesson. 

I don’t know kid songs. I forgot the words to ring around the rosey and all I can think of is that it’s some death song but I’m smiling and singing it anyway hoping I’d get something that resembled a giggle out of her.  And soon the water and my arm cradle soothed her and she tolerated it, barely.  And we stuck out the entire 30 minutes, singing song after who knows what song, cheering on Henry and Victoria as we played Red Rover and they scrambled across the “lilly pad” to their moms.

30 minutes later and out of the pool we go only to discover my nearly disintegrated speedo is hanging near down to my knees and it appeared that perhaps I too should have purchased a plastic diaper cover up thing.  Geez.  Back into the change room and I really wanted a picture of her but there’s NO WAY that was going to happen.  My god.  Let me just get this wet stuff off of her before she starts wailing.   I honestly considered putting my dry clothes on right on top of my wet bathing suit and just getting the *!$# out of there but I found the “girls only” area and quickly changed and I had to pee, like from the minute I walked in the door, but how was I supposed to do that??  I can’t just leave her sitting there in her seat by herself.  How do moms pee??  Forget it, let’s just get home. 

She’s a trooper that little Bug. She was asleep in 30 seconds once she got clicked back into the back seat.  And I can totally see that she’s got a fish deep down inside of her that’s just dying to get out, but certainly we’ll be making some progress as we’re now committed to this for the next…8… .WEEKS. 

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