My name is Angel and I am the mother of a teenager with an addiction. Like many mom's I always said, 'not my kids, not my house, they know how we feel, we have never ever done them so they have never been exposed to them'. Oh how wrong I was.
My oldest son had changed so much in the last year and a half. I figured he was just testing his limits. I knew all of his friends, had known them since they began school or their parents since we were in school together. Not in this neighborhood...
I watched my nephew and my cousin get ravaged by the disease of addiction. But it would never be my kids.
My son gained visitation with his bio dad who was a drug addict. That made no difference to the judge. To him I was just a spiteful mom who didn't want him to be a part of Doug's life but wanted the money. I never wanted the money, the state pushed for that..
It was there my son got his first joint, his first beer and the brutal honesty of what his bio dad really was. A troubled man with a problem out of his control. So addicted that being a father and fighting for life was not worth giving it up. From there apparently my son went into a downward spiral. Getting xanax from a friend of his dad's and there it began.
I pushed and confronted but never had enough proof to say he was definitely addicted or even doing anything. He stopped bathing for days at a time, came home and slept for hours upon hours and was so hateful that every other word out of his mouth was a curse word. Last Friday I laid down the law. He would get up at 9 am and either be actively pursuing a job or helping around this house. I would give him no more money, no more rides, nothing. If he could not do that he could get out.
It sounds harsh but walk a mile in my shoes. See your child who once upon a time had a huge heart and sweet spirit morph into some kind of monster you don't know. His whole body changed. He could not be kind to anyone, always ready to fight and get physical. We were done as a family.
Finally on Saturday he admitted his problem. I had suspected weed, not pills, not percocet and xanax. Not snorting them like candy. Not my kid.. but it was my kid, at least snippets of him coming out and crying for help and I could not turn my back.
He went to rehab today. It took me 2 days to find the place he could go and he agreed.
Never again will I be in the dark. I was shocked by how many parents of his friends knew and did nothing. I was shocked that many of the drugs they are using can be purchased over the counter at any truck stop. Things they market as cold remedies become nose candy for these kids. Just like any addiction eventually everything fails to work like it once did so it takes more and more then something else. He was broken and I couldn't fix him. I don't even know where to start.
So this morning I drove my child to a rehab center to allow him the ability to grow up and make something of himself.. the things he has avoided like the plague.. mainly life itself.
He was brought up in church, attended youth groups and youth trips even when we were not attending. It was there, it was at the concerts held by 4h in town, it was at the local place the kids hang out to skate. There is no holy ground in this drug world. No place is sacred. Not even your kid.
Never again will I say not my kid and not my house. Cause it came here, and I never saw it coming...
Loving comments and visitors... come by and see me at http://singedwingangel.blogspot.com/
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