"No, I'm the Perfect Parent!"

5 years ago

Blogging is hard at times.  I find myself getting riled up over the most STUPID ASS things. Mommy Bloggers!!!

There I said IT!! Might want to Grab a glass of wine, this is a long post and some of you might need a little wine to help you swallow it!

Mommy Bloggers are hilarious.  I place them in camps!

The Righteous Camp!  These moms are PERFECT!! They are strict.  They believe in discipline.  Oh, and they know it all!! GOD, do they know it all. They shout it LOUDLY AND Don’t even try to debate with them but they will insist they are intelligent LOL!! They are on the FAR RIGHT SIDE of the Pendulum.

‘Let Kids be Kids’ Camp! Another Group of PERFECT and KNOW IT ALL MOMS but their kids have a ‘free for all’ environment. These kids rule the roost!! Life runs around the children and all their demands!!  I must admit these moms don’t shout as loud but they are strong in their beliefs.  Oh, and they proclaim how bright they are too and they seem to  always be reading and learning on the latest ‘why it is important to let the kids run the show” type of literature! Cramming their side down your throat! These Moms are on the FAR LEFT SIDE of the Pendulum.

‘Figuring it Out’ Camp!  These moms are somewhere in the middle.  Some lean more right, some lean more left and some aren’t even sure!! They will tell you they are not perfect and they are always second guessing and then feel bad they are second guessing!

Now, the ‘Righteous’ camp cracks me up the most.  See, these mommy bloggers LOVE to rip bad parenting and they of course think that is ‘Let Kids be Kids’ mommies! Oh, and to a certain extent the ‘Figuring it Out’ too because really THE RIGHTEOUS CAMP BITCHES KNOW IT ALL LOL  The Righteous Camp will jump on a BAD PARENTING story like WHITE ON RICE.  They love to leave comments on how their kids would never do that ‘such and such’ infraction but then they catch themselves because NEVER is a strong statement.  So, they correct and say, “if my children misbehave they know they will be in big trouble but privately.”  God Bless, the Righteous Camp, they are the perfect parents.  Ha! Ha! They never spank or yell but they discipline by golly. They give ‘the look‘. How did they perfect that ‘Look’?   The Righteous Camp kids never act out in public! Oops, there we go with NEVER again!  If the little dickens misbehave in public then they remove them without a scene and they privately and quietly reprimand them.  Seriously,Their children are polite, follow the rules, no tantrums or being ‘wild and obnoxious’ and if they happen to step out of line ‘they get a look’ and they stop misbehaving and then they are quietly disciplined.  These mommies could make some serious DOE with this awesome shit! Give me an AMEN, Shout Halleluiah, I swear these mothers should get GOLD PLATED STARS!! But don’t worry these women let each other know how awesome they are.  I mean Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the way they pat each other on the back makes you want to vomit.

Now, trust me, the ‘Let kids be kids’ camp can get just as sickly.   You have to read about how the house is messy and no clothes are clean but mommy is playing happily with the kids and we get to see all the happy pictures, toys everywhere, stories about play dates and parks  and crafts and messy fingers and RAINBOWS and UNICORNS are busting from the page. You hear about tantrums, sometimes, but they just grab a toy because ‘life is short’ or the cute story about the little one that hits them in the face until it isn’t so cute anymore? Oh, wait, all the ‘Let Kids be Kids’ mommies thinks those stories are cute!  Forgive me, I got confused Ha! Ha!  Oh, and then we get to hear how they all sleep together, it is called the ‘Family Bed’ and Mommy hasn’t showered in days because she has to spend EVERY. WAKING. MOMENT. next to her kid BUT HUBBY doesn’t mind.  RIGHT!  *wink* wink*


AND the ‘Let Kids Be Kids’ mommies need Gold Plated Stars too but the difference they would give them to their kids to play with while the Righteous Moms would PROUDLY wear them because by golly they deserve their GOLD PLATED STAR, they created  THEIR PERFECT child but the ‘Let Kids Be Kids’ well, they are just blessed with awesome kids and they let them be free to be themselves!!!

In the end, SOME Mommy Bloggers are hard to read.  I get it, that is where they are in life but, OH,MY, GOSH! Ugh!

AND THEN,Commenting *Sigh*.  After a while I can  write ‘you are an awesome parent’ or ‘so cute’ only so many times.

BUT,My favorite camp and the ones I really READ!  The women pulling their hair out.  The women stumbling and admitting they just don’t have it all figured out but are trying. Yep, the ‘Figuring It Out’ camp.  THE MIDDLE!! I love their great days with rainbows and unicorns because they give me the bad days too!!   They admit they want better behaved kids!! They dream of a cleaner home.  You know chaos isn’t fun ALL THE TIME, routines work but flexibility is essential too because things go sideways sometimes.  In the end,These mothers talk about awesome days! Or days filled with tantrums!! These Moms question if they are handling things right? Some take showers and dress every day! Some are still trying to figure out how to do all that! LOL Some wish for more time with their husbands or  boyfriends.  They admit to stumbling! EVEN BETTER they pat themselves on the back when they feel good about an acheivement!!


When I was in the throes of parenting I was constantly reading and researching the topic.  I tried every approach and questioned my every move.  It got to the point where My Kids would say, “Dad, don’t let her watch the Today Show”.  I would see a parenting segment and we would tried it!! Oh, and I didn’t have the fing time to judge other parents. Hell, I was too worried if I was doing it right!  WAIT, let me be honest,Yeah, of course, my husband and I would gossip from time to time about a neighborhood kid, or people in a restaurant, maybe even a family member here or there but  it wasn’t malicious, we were too busy figuring it out ourselves!! We would never have thought of approaching other parents unless abuse or a safety issue was in question.  GOD’S honest truth! When I was in the THICK of parenting I was focused on MY TWO KIDS.  I was SCARED to death of FING THEM UP! You know what?  I am sure I made a few mistakes along the parenting road.  I can only hope and pray I got some of IT right and gave them a decent foundation.

In the end, approaching parents and  embarrassing them in public won’t change their parenting AND you won’t fix the kids with one ‘big move’ actually, depending on the age of the child you could just add a traumatic story to the child’s history.  I suppose, you think it will make you feel ‘good and righteous’ but in my 46 years I have never felt good about myself after publicly humiliating a person.

BUT IF BY CHANCE, the next time you are experiencing a ‘bad parenting scene’ and your perfect parenting skills are kicking into gear AND you are eager to embarrass the parent you have deemed  ‘suckie’ and beneath you. AND you know this because they are not following what ‘we’ have deemed appropriate social behaviors for them and their children, TAKE A MOMENT, breath, and think how you would feel,  if you happened to be having an ‘off’ day from your perfect parenting, (even though you know they are not having an off day  because you can just tell they are “Let Kids Be Kids” parents)  “Would you want someone to embarrass you?”  (Be honest)

BUT, if you really think the situation merits a confrontation then don’t be a coward and humiliate the parent and child, how about trying a nice approach and say, “Hey, excuse me, your little one ran me over with his Tonka truck and I didn’t want to approach your child but he/she didn’t apologize and I noticed your were busy.” You make your point, the parent has a chance to save face and the child has a chance to have a teachable moment!  We tell our children to be kind and use their words and yet we seem to use a different approach when we feel that ‘sense of entitlement’, righteousness or superiority.  I think as a parent we should practice what we preach.  A little humility goes a long way in life.

One very last note: This Blogher post inspired some of the above post! If you read it, I just want to say that I feel that it is sad adults feel it is fine to use HUMILIATION to make a point and with OTHER ADULTS (shaking my head) and yet, I would wager these same PARENTS,commenting and applauding the guy’s approach would shit their pants if TEACHERS used HUMILIATION tactics to reign in students, especially with their kid, but yeah, chances are they are in the ‘Righteous Camp’ and  remember their kids are PERFECT LOL.

Anyway,Humility? A funny thing!  We want it when we need someone to cut us some slack! And, yet, often we don’t like to bestow it?

Now, I have a question for parents how would you feel if someone embarrassed you about your parenting? What is the line? Your teenager talking loudly and using inappropriate language on their cellphone and you do nothing and I walk up and reprimand you and your teenager, are you fine with that?  Your daughter wearing a skirt up her ass and I tell you I think you suck?  Or is it only little obnoxious kids with dangerous Tonka trucks because that is just bad manners and it hurt my toe? It is funny we all have a difference of opinion and tolerance level.  The little ones don’t offend me but I am sick of seeing asses and vaginas!

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