When TW asked if I was going to blog about National Cleavage Day, I realized I totally had to blog it. Who cares how much work is waiting for me or how many unanswered emails are in my inbox. I'm a lesbian. I love cleavage. I'm also a feminist and a small breasted woman with very little cleavage of my own, but a pretty high level of appreciation for my own body. Add all of those things up and I've got a heck of a lot to say about National Cleavage Day.
According to Samantha Paterson, the brand manager for Wonderbra, the National Cleavage Day is started according to a design to solemnize women's independence and power in all facets of life, from their careers to their relationships to their own destiny. Anita Meiring, public relations consultant for Wonderbra, explained the event, "It is a day for women to realize that their cleavage is something unique and that they should be proud of it". Paterson explained "It gives women a chance to be beautiful and glow in the furtive, yet appreciative, glances their cleavage evokes from men". She also explained "It gives men a legitimate reason to stare at boobs".
They had me until that last little bit there. Because damn it, while I might be a lesbian who appreciates a nice bit of cleavage (and I do) I do not stare at boobs. I also do not believe in giving men (or anyone) a legitimate reason to stare at boobs unless we're all in the comfort of our own bedrooms or wherever it is our intimate relationships are errr intimate.
There really is nothing worse than having a man talk to your breasts. There's probably nothing worse than having a woman talk to your breasts either but I rarely see women complaining about lesbians talking to their breasts (thank goodness.)
I do however have a lot of experience with women talking about their own breasts and each others breasts. We do that a lot.
I remember a business trip I went on, with three other women who besides being colleagues are also old friends of mine - and TW's. The three of them headed off to the hotel bar for a drink and some bar food while I stayed in the hotel room I was sharing with one of these women... they came back an hour or two later, drunk and disorderly. OK maybe not drunk but they were disorderly and it was amusing. I had been asleep on the couch until their disorderly selves came in and somehow (don't ask me how) they began to talk about their breasts and their new bras.
One of these women (Hi friend who sometimes reads and comments on my BlogHer posts!) showed us her new bra, the one she was currently wearing. (Hello! I'm trying to sleep here! And also not look because of that whole lesbian sharing a room thing.) Which led to them all discussing great bras. Which somehow led to them discussing cleavage. Which then led to them discussing TW's cleavage. Yes, TW - my partner - who has great breasts - but rarely wears a bra. (Hi TW.)
These women went on and on about TW's breasts and how great her cleavage would look in a Wonderbra or some other bra I don't know anything about (because I cannot tell you the last time I actually wore a bra.)
Finally, after this discussion had gone on longer than I was comfortable with (two seconds would have been my limit) one of them remembered that I don't particularly like bras and tend to like the natural look. They all hemmed and hawed over that, moved on to some other topic and I tried my darnedest to go back to sleep.
And just now, when I mentioned to TW that I was going to include a story about the woman who sometimes comments on my posts here said "She's got great cleavage and always shows it off nicely with a piece of jewelry - she makes her own jewelry you know." Which is true, she does and she does. But this is just another example of women talking about other women's breasts. We do it. A lot.
We also talk about our own breasts and in less than positive ways. Our breasts are too small. Or they're too big. Or there are stretch marks. Or we hate the size or shape or color of our nipples. Just one more thing about our bodies for us to hate on and I really wish Wonderbra's NCD would put an end to all of that.
I also wish NCD would put an end to the breastfeeding in public haters but I somehow doubt that's going to happen either. Does Wonderbra make a nursing bra? They should, shouldn't they?
And then there's the whole rant I should be having right now about corporations who take advantage of our insecurities and create days like this just to sell more product. Yes Astra Zeneca I'm talking about you and your breast cancer pink ribbon scary-ness. If Wonderbra wants to do something good for women, could they come up with a way to put a hot bra on a woman's heart so we might actually have a way to make heart disease sexy? Until then we're just going to keep buying our pink ribbon products even though it is heart disease women should be truly frightened about.
See, I've got a lot to say about National Cleavage Day and so do some other bloggers.
The Bloggess (who I have always wanted to link to but never had the chance) kicked it off nicely for me with her NCD post and photo. The comments... awesome.
Apparently I am the only person in my office even aware of National Cleavage Day. Also I was asked to go home and change because “it’s important for people in HR to act professional” and I was all “THIS IS AN OFFICIAL HOLIDAY” and they’re all “What makes it so ‘official’?” and I’m like “IT HAS IT’S OWN WIKIPEDIA PAGE.” Then they made me put on a sweater because they don’t understand wikipedia. So basically my breasts and my civil rights are suffocating. This is like when women aren’t allowed to breast-feed in public places, except worse because on National Cleavage Day everyone suffers.
When The Bloggess blogs, women listen and her post stemmed a rash of women blogging their boobs. Awesome in a totally not lesbian lech way. Seriously.
What do you think about your cleavage? Other women's cleavage? National Cleavage Day? Be honest - whatever you're thinking, you're not alone. Trust me.
Updated 6:23pm CT: I did not write this post in some shameless attempt to coerce women into sending me photos of their cleavage. But, to those who have done so... thanks! You totally made my day in a completely non-sleezysleazy way.
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