My son gets me thinking, and losing sleep.

5 years ago

K’s been so fun this week that I’ve been home, unable to get to work thanks to MetroNorth trains not running for a few days, and then due to a lack of electricity in my office.  I’ve had a forced staycation, which is weird because last Sunday, before receiving news from our office to stay at home until further notice, I brought up the idea of a staycation with my husband.  I’ll have 6 extra vacation days to take before year ends aside from the 5 I’ll take mid-December to visit my 87-year old recently-widowed Godfather.  I am grateful that I’ve been able to be home with him in a safe space with electricity.  Our cable was out for 2.5 days but that was the extent of it, thank God.

We’ll finally be donating some needed items tomorrow thanks to a neighbor gathering clothing and non-perishable food items.  I’ve only been an observer, thus far; a slack-jawed neighbor to destruction and grief, an unwilling rubbernecker gawking at the unthinkable: boats in houses, sand hundreds of feet into communities that exist blocks away from the beach, like a blizzard of sand.  I’ve cried, angry at stories of children who perished at the extremely unfortunate decisions their parents made, knowing that mothers are mourning the loss of life they created and probably fighting the guilt of their tragic missteps.  I think that everyone on the E. Coast has learned that, when a community is asked to Evacuate, DO IT.  What a difficult way to learn that lesson.  I shudder thinking on it, as I cannot fully comprehend what that loss is like and I never, ever want to.

The only thing we’re losing lots of lately (from the first days as parents, it’s been un-ending), is SLEEP.  Precious, healing sleep.


Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care,

The death of each day’s life, sore labor’s bath,

Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course,

Chief nourisher in life’s feast.


Shakespeare was a baby daddy?

Every night he’s coughing so much we have to give him a nebulizer treatment yet again and, while I have been out of the office all week, I’ve calmly, patiently and gladly helped him when he needed it in the middle of the night knowing that the next day, I could be a bit of a vegetable at home where no one would need me to do quick-thinking, productive work.  Come Sunday night, though, I may find myself scaring the poor boy with my switch in personality.  “Don’t you know I have to be at work in the morning?!”  I’ll try to think positively – maybe it will be more fodder for creativity.  Go the F to Sleep came from moments such as these.

My original topic was regarding how everything that K said, today alone, was journal-worthy and it was only today but even while he was still up and I was planning to blog about his 3-year old logic, I couldn’t recall one single noteworthy thing he’d said!  My short-term memory is…what was I talking about?

One of my favorite words from his lips is, “Achally” for actually.  And it’s always emphatically used at the beginning of a sentence.  “ACHALLY, the Wonder Pets are my favorite.”  He doesn’t like Fresh Beat Band, MY personal favorite, but he loves the aforementioned show, as well as The Backyardigans, whose theme song fills my heart with music.  The harmonies are RIDIKALOUS!

Why didn’t spell-check underline RIDIKALOUS?  That is bizarre.  Bazar.  Ok, spell check’s still working, just had to…check.

On Friday, when I got sick of having Nick Jr. on and running around the apartment to get him moving got old, I decided to watch the news.  I watched too long and decided to treat myself to a guilty pleasure, “The Voice” (another blog on this topic is forthcoming).  K has never seen the show and doesn’t know diddly about the premise.  I watched Loren Allred vs. Nicole Nelson in the “Battle rounds” episode and when Nicole finished her song, which came after Loren’s knockout performance, K said, “That was much better than the 1st one.” 

Really?!  Why?

“The first one was too loud.”

He has been an old man since the day he was born.  He doesn’t like loud noises.  “Kids!  With their awful clothes and their Rock n’ Roll.” K will always be surprising and teaching me, won’t he?

I literally just sat here with my head turned to the left, searching my memory for even one thing that K said today, not even from this week, but today, that was clever and made me smile but…I got nothin’.

I hope that you’re all safe, healthy, eating well, have clean water to drink, are adequately informed, have a home and family nearby.  For those who have lost so much and perhaps everything, I have only prayers because words fail me.  Godspeed.


This is an article written by a member of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.

More from living

by Jana Randall | 2 days ago
by Catherine Conelly | 5 days ago
by Julie Sprankles | 10 days ago
by Justina Huddleston | 12 days ago
by Bryanne Salazar | 12 days ago
by Heather Barnett | 23 days ago
by Justina Huddleston | 25 days ago
by Kenzie Mastroe | a month ago
by Julie Sprankles | a month ago
by Justina Huddleston | a month ago
by Fairygodboss | a month ago