My Life Is Run by the INTERNET!

5 years ago

Waking up, I start the day with the usual cup of hot Arabica coffee keeping in mind the new findings I read on the net about Coffee preventing Alzheimer. I fondly recall my dead great grand aunt who had to suffer for years from this mysterious disease thus I begin to feel a tinge of guilt and to assuage it, I go to Twitter Kotel Kam and leave her a prayer. I figure that G-d will hear my plea for great grand aunt because after submitting the prayer, those great religious geeks manning the Twitter Kotel Kam site shall print my prayer and make sure that it ends up in one of those cracks in the Wailing Wall.

Time on the computer screen says that it's almost 7 am, so there, I have an hour to take a shower and prepare to get to work. I shower, rather feeling sanguine because I lost my Ebay bid on that water ionizer. I do not feel refreshed, instead I feel my skin pores are being invaded by alkaline water and the internet says that could be toxic. But I comfort myself with the thought that maybe it has done the least harm, after all, I am not drinking it.

My soap is organic, of course, pure castile, from Dr. Bronner's website of course, because there is nothing as moisturizing as Olive Oil. After all, didn't Cleopatra do the same..oops. then I recall Wiki records that Queen Cleo of Egypt lived only for 30 plus years.Well, maybe she looked 20 at 30, and that isn't so bad for ancient Egypt.

There was no internet then to to give her beauty tips. I exfoliate with brown sugar, the best according to You Tube, and cheaper than those plastic phony loofahs. Of course, I use Shea butter because I read on E Celeb how Hollywood women pamper themselves and protect themselves from wrinkles. Oh and I love my Coconut Oil Shampoo, though it smells a little weird.But how can Amazon product reviewers go wrong? This shampoo had about 29 four star product review ratings.

I shower off still feeling that I would be healthier and more beautiful if I won THAT water ionizer. Before I drive to the office I check my cell and see that my horoscope warns me against passing under bridges. I try and convince myself this is ridiculous and the last credible thing to believe is a horoscope. Instead I check my Bible app and it tells me : "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you" (Isaiah 43:2).

That makes me feel better.

Remembering the Mastermind Movie I watched the night before I thank the Universe for small things like my Bible app. I drive with my Ipod shuffle on and listen to relaxing sounds of nature and I am grateful again for media-convert. Without it, there was no way I could have stole those nice sounds from the You Tube relaxation nature channel.

I thank the Universe again for media convert. I reach my office and remember my secret journal. I open my computer to journal : "Expressed gratitude thoughts for the Kotel Kam and media convert". My male boss hands me some papers check and I TRY and smile at him and shoot him positive vibes, because I want a race.

My energy doesn't seem to reach him so I wonder if my mastermind energy online course is doing me any good. I remind myself NOT to stress and do some EFT tapping exercises recommended by Dr. Mercola. I swear it works, so I ignore that male office mates who looks at me with that smirk on his face. I visualize reading his obituary BUT am very careful not to wish he was dead because I am committed to shun away every negative thought. (Reading the obituary is a neutral thought).

Lunch break and I decide on the Atkins diet, I have about 15 lbs to lose. I am a member of the only Atkins Center and I find out I should eat cheese with ham and a bit of cauliflower rice today. I decide to postpone that for more Coffee (no sugar) instead so that I have enough time to check my Facebook and Twitter. That also means I can have dinner twice and would have still been faithful to my Atkins menu.

I read my friend's timeline and one of them found a great job. I think, oh, well, she is pretty and she had botox twice before she applied. I check the real self online and ask for the best "wrinkle filler, not botox" and come up with three choices - all of which I cannot afford. Boss appears and I am tempted to ask for a raise, but insist on sending him thought missiles instead. I feel a negative energy blocking my though missiles and I can only conclude that it's my smirking office mate.

I try harder until my boss asks . "Are you alright. Do you have a stomachache or something ...." I knew he was implying that I was having menstrual cramps. I wanted to scream "I want a raise!" but a thought flashes that "wanting something too much does not attract the thing you want, because you are not relaxed..". How could I ever have forgotten that internet reminder! I arrive home after work, and go online to journal my Atkins dinner. Ohhh.. I can have Ham,Cheese, Cauliflower rice plus Chicken and veggies. I am grateful that I decided to miss lunch and I start frying my cauliflower rice.

I thank the Universe for the You Tube Atkins Recipe Channel. I eat before the computer and see my Twitter. My friend RT'd a Twit from The Horn of Africa about needing donations for people who are literally dying of huunger every 5 minutes. I feel guilty and click the donate button and give 10 via paypal.

I decide on a movie at Netflix and see Angelia Jolie's lips and wish I had "plump lips". I find a Korean lipstick online and decide to but it despite the mail cost. Then go back to Ebay wondering if there is any water ionizer up for bid again. and lo and behold, I find one! Six hours more to wait. I decide to wait. I start dreaming that I've won it at last. Now it is MINE. I wake up realizing I fell asleep. I begin to feel bad until I had to be grateful. Even for a good dream

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