My daughter is Gay and...

5 years ago

lesbian (ˈlɛzbɪən) n 1. a female homosexual

homosexual (ˌhəʊməʊˈsɛksjʊəl, ˌhɒm-) — n 1. a person who is sexually attracted to members of the same sex

I debated on how to start this post and finally decided to cut to the chase. See those two definitions up there? I don’t see anything that says freak, odd-ball, less than human or any other such nonsense. Yet, there are still too many people who have no clue on what equality is all about.

What started this train today was me reading a letter a young man received from his father after he “came out of the closet”. The father’s response was heartbreaking and so unnecessary. Basically he denounced his son and cut off any further ties with him. I’m not sure who I feel sorrier for, the sender or receiver. I grew up with “gayness” all around me, my uncle, aunt and brother all being gay. Later in life, my closest and dearest friends are gay. I cannot fathom ever responding to my child in the manner this father chose to do. Does he not even realize what has happened to his son’s soul?

I am a Mother of 4 daughters and one son. My 4th daughter is gay. I knew she was gay long before she told me and it made naught difference to me. The day she opened up and told me my only response was “Yeah, now we are a true American family”. This child I birthed, took to her first day of school, dried tears and collected smiles from is my beloved and to remove her from my life is as close to death as I could come. How can a parent disrespect this person they raised is completely off my radar of sanity.

My eldest brother once told me, “I did not choose this life, it chose me. Who in their right mind would choose to live in a society where you are berated, hated and scorned”? I never forgot those profound words. I am no expert on being gay, but I do know the roots of discrimination start in living rooms, dinner tables and car trips when the parents make those snide remarks and rude jokes. Children are sponges and their psyche absorbs what is said as the golden rule. No child is born hating anyone because of their sexual preference. That is fact.

When I introduce my children to people I don’t say “these are my straight & gay children”. I simply say my children. So why does our society do that? We hold a strong responsibility as humans to embrace and care for one another and picking and choosing is not part of the equation.

So yes, my daughter is gay and I love every fiber of her creative, zany, sports loving being and raised her to know right from wrong. I don’t hate the wrong doers of this world, but I do hope one day their cracked mirrors are discarded and hearts become like mine, big enough for all.

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