More "If Asians Said Stuff White People Say"

3 years ago

Because this "If Asians Said the Things White People Say" video is the story of my life, and I can't let it pass without comment because it's so awesome.  And I need to add some other things Asians could say to white people. This video was produced by BuzzFeed and has gone viral.

Before we begin:

First: why are they "targeting" white people?  Because in America, whites (non-Hispanic whites) are around 72% (63%) of the population.  Asians are less than 5%.

Second: these are all rather trivial expressions of racism.  Non-violent, non-traumatic; just a lot of wtf, smh, and seriously? But that doesn't make it any less annoying, prevalent, or wrong.

Third: Don't confuse American Asians with Asian Asians.

More "If Asians said stuff white people say"

1. "Hey, show me how to do Pilates (strikes pose).  Don't all white people do Pilates?"  If only I had a nickel for every time someone asked if I did karate/taekwondo.

2.  "OMG you're SO lucky you're naturally pasty."  Because non-pale Asians are not "naturally tan" and probably don't use self-tanner/go tanning.

4.  "Wait.  Look at your arms!  Why do you have so much hair (rubs hand on stranger's arms)?"  Since I got really annoyed with fellow (mostly white) foreigners in Korea who would talk about the presence or absence of body hair on Korean arms.  And. . .I've had people/acquaintances touch mine.

5.  "I just loooove white people hair.  I think it's so pretty (goes up to random white stranger and strokes hair)"  Had a random stranger in a grocery store do this to me.  It was one of those situations where she seemed nice, so I didn't want to tell her off, which led to me enduring a few short/interminable seconds of weird touching.  Please.  Maintain your distance.

6.  "Oh, you're white? Hello (high five/fist bump)."  There was this phase in elementary school where other kids would sometimes try to bow like Asians.  Except they did it with their hands pressed together in front of their face.  You know what I mean.  I've only ever seen white people bow like this in real life.  Or Katy Perry during that one performance.  Then I went to Korea, to a foreign teacher orientation. . .and some foreigners did it to me because they thought I was one of the Korean-Korean people.  Cringe.

7.  "(to foreign white person in America) Do you have family here?  No?  Then. . .why are you here?"  Because for some reason, people of Asian descent can't go to Asia unless they have family there.  I've stumped a lot of white people with this one when I was in Korea/China.

Ironically, if you're white and living in homogeneous East Asia, you'll hear this stuff from the video for realz.  And probably have people taking photos of you like the oddity you are in that country.

But, allowing for certain differences - like the sheer number of people in East Asia who will gawk at you; my tall blond friend brought a bus of Chinese tourists to a standstill -  that's what it's like to be a minority.  And it can be good for some white people (who probably haven't experienced racism on a daily basis and in every new social interaction) to experience the kind of stuff (the serious, sad, and trivially annoying) some people go through every day in America, where there's really no excuse for not understanding diversity.

Image Credit: BuzzFeed

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