Misadventures in Juicing~

5 years ago

Several years ago, after much thought and consideration, I bought a Jack LaLanne juicer. It was very fancy and very expensive. But what price for good health? Watching Elaine LaLanne shove all kinds of fruits and vegetables through that chute and creating wonderful, delicious, healthy juices just inspired me. After all, Jack was older than dirt before he died and he looked damn good. He also hauled a boat across a harbor with his teeth so there must be something to this juicing business.

Feeling healthier already, I went to the market and bought three bags of apples - all different. I envisioned a unique blend of apple flavor. Did you know you can shove the WHOLE apple through the juicer's chute? Yes! The whole thing, although it is recommended that you remove the stem.

I also bought a bag of oranges, two cantaloupes, a whole pineapple, and blueberries. Yes, two boxes of blueberries at almost $4 a box because they looked so delicious. Blueberries practically ooze good health. They are chock-full of nutrients designed by Mother Nature to thwart illness. I also bought bananas but Elaine and Jack strongly stress in the handy-dandy juicer manual that one should NEVER put bananas in the juicer. It is BAD to put bananas in the juicer. I wonder if all those smoothie people know about this?

Here are my observations with regard to the juicer:

1. $4 worth of blueberries yields 2 teaspoons of juice.

2. One gala and one granny smith apple, stems removed, and one package of $4 blueberries creates 3/4 cup of juice. It is a purple-green color and quite tasty.

3. Despite the fact that I adhered to all directions, the juicer is quite active. When the plastic "pulp collector" spins right off the juicer, which it did twice, fruit pulp flies all over the kitchen.

4. There are eight removable parts that must be washed thoroughly when the juicer is finished creating a shot glass full of purple-green juice. All of these parts are interlocking and the remaining pulp adheres quite snugly. Aggressive cleaning with a scrubber sponge and vulnerable fingers is NOT recommended.

5. Although dogs will eat almost anything, they will not lick fruit pulp flung onto the floor, cabinet doors, trash can, or the refrigerator. Any pulp pieces that legitimately hit the dog dish will be disregarded.

I will say that my kitchen was squeaky clean after the unexpected scrubbing and mopping but I was a little concerned about all that fruit in my house.

Jack and Elaine must have had a maid.




"Anybody who has begun to think places the rest of the world in jeopardy." ~John Dewey

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