Mine Eyes Have Seen Yon Bullshit

5 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

Greetings and God’s blessing upon thee fair readers! How doth it go? It is my hope that all thine household is content and none are wondrous naughty.

Doest thou wonder whyfor am I rocking mine tongue olden style? Hark! For I have news!

We art now living again in the age of feudal lords, and I did thinkist that we should speak as doth lend us the best ear for the world. Lo, look upon this chart and see thou what I doth mean:

Verily, I find this to be the truth. Ye should find it true also.

Thanks to the good offices of mine husband, who hast labored long and well in the service of Lord Software, we are so fortunate to be amongst the more comfortable of the peasants. We rankest below vassals, but we do stand in good stead with the likes of goldsmiths and apothecaries in the days of yore. This pleases me mightily, but I do know too much of the suffering and want of those who labor in other vocations. It is a hard thing to be a tanner, although it is surely better than the lot of the serf or the beggar.

I am given to understand that during the reign of Camelot, whereupon JFK did serve as the Lord Privy Seal, the power of kings had been weakened such that money had been cast into the economy for peasants, so that even menial laborers could make that most magical of things A Living Wage.

Woe unto us that those times have passed, and now we have fallen into the Dark Ages.

There is a prophecy that a great woman will rise up and lead us back into the light, and she shall be known as Elizabeth Warren, but my heart is heavy and I scarce can hope. Mayhap we are all doomed – another empire whose life was cut off by Mammon’s cunning.

Mammon, thou worshipers art surely a pack of asshats.

 

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