Mammon & the Asshats

4 years ago

It comes to a total unsurprise, but yet another batch of scientific studies have found that rich people are more likely to be asshats than their non-rich cohorts. Among the findings were that:

  • Drivers of expensive cars were three to four times more likely to break the law, and not stop in a pedestrian intersection.
  • Given the opportunity, wealthier participants took twice as much candy from children as poorer participants.
  • The wealthy cheated four times as often at dice games when money was on the line--a $50 voucher.

In a nutshell it means that, in general, rich people are more likely to be law breakers, cheaters, and heartless child-stiffing scum than non-rich people.

Frankly, I have seen nothing that would suggest otherwise. Mammon-worshiping warthog taints feel free to illegally put their money in offshore accounts in order to avoid paying the taxes designed to help the average citizen. They launder money for people who murder men, women, and children. They flagrantly screw the poor to line their wallets. They literally take food out of poor children’s mouths via the banks (bank profits benefit the rich who own stock in those banks) by charging “fees” to process welfare and food stamps.

And the most disgusting thing about all this is that rich asshats whine like spoiled toddlers that they don’t have enough and people are mean to them just because of their heinous shenanigans. Waahhh!!! Wealthy anus-lickers who were born rich, or cheated & scammed to get rich, or got rich from immoral and/or unethical practices insist that they DESERVE their wealth – they are entitled to it because they ‘earned’ it. They sucked Mammon’s pus-dripping dick fair and square!

It isn’t that the unethical become rich, either. It is the money that turns most people into scum. Even pretend wealth will turn you into a Mammon-worshiping dweeb-humanoid. Scientists “manipulated the rules of a Monopoly game to show even lower class people began to take on the traits of the wealthy when provided with unfairly favorable circumstances. Those given an unfair advantage [more money to start with] surprisingly believed they deserved to win the game. They attributed their successes to their own individual skills and talents, rather than their highly favorable circumstances.”

Rich people, NOT poor people, have a problem with feeling entitled.

But there is hope for the Mammon sniffers. Experiments show that if rich people were “put in an unfavorable position [they] began to take on the traits of the poor” If they were made to “feel psychologically a little less well-off, they become way more generous, way more charitable, way more likely to offer help to another person”.

Basically, the best (and perhaps only way) to turn a rich shithead back into a good human is to take away his money. Therefore, I beg politicians to raise taxes sharply on the mega-wealthy in order to save them from themselves! It is for their own good!

After all, the rich insist the entitlement attitude of the poor – rather than poverty – is driving the need for food banks and food stamps and unemployment benefits and welfare. Shouldn’t someone help them out the same way they are willing to help those entitlement-seeking, lazy poor people?

I really, really want to save the rich.


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