I have a confession to make. I have a new love in my life. I have a new obsession.
I have fallen in love with my wrinkles. Yes, truly, I think they’re beautiful. I think they make me look stunning.
I love the deep creases in my forehead; the slashing line between my brows. I love my crow’s feet. I love how they stay put even after I’ve stopped smiling or laughing. And I smile and laugh a lot. I even love the little lines above my thin lip.
When I look in the mirror, I don’t see a young and beautiful woman, I see a woman who’s finally starting look interesting. Someone I want to get to know; someone who has a story to tell, an interesting insight to share. I see someone who isn’t burden by the trivial anymore. I see someone who is eager to learn and be challenged. I see someone who’s happy and staggeringly imperfect. I see someone who has the freedom to be interested in others, more than herself.
Do I feel slightly smug about my decision not to obliterate my wrinkles? Yes. Do I need to work on developing my humility? Yes. Do I think I’m a better person than women who fear aging and think Botox is the answer? No. We all have our paths and truths.
Why do we fear change so much? Why are wrinkles and aging awful? I’ve never felt freer in my life. I know my strengths and limitation, how to adapt, how give up and give in, how to fight for the truth, how to say no and mean it. Now that is true freedom.
I’m keeping my wrinkles because I’m selfish and want your empathy. Scientists have figured out, our brains are designed to mimic each other’s facial cues and emotions. If I want you to feel empathic toward me, to trigger your emotions, I need the full range and control of my facial muscles. Human brains don’t like expressionless faces.
As my grandma Marge always says: You’re always trading one set of problems for another. Sometimes they're better and sometimes they're not.
When I see a woman of a certain age (my age) without any wrinkles or lines, I ask myself, do I want to look like that? Do I need to keep up with the Botox crowd? My answer is no. Not today.
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