A Love Letter

5 years ago

Dear Tripp,

I know we've never met.  I don't know your mom or your family nor can I imagine how emotional the last two and a half years have been for them.  I can't imagine what it has been like to be a mom of a sick child.  But I've followed your mom's blog for the last several months.  I've gone back and read some of what she wrote about you in your first year of life.  The love that your mom has for you has shown through her blog.  Every post she writes is a testament to her faith in God and her faith in you. 

Even though I don't know you I know what you've taught people.  I know that you have been an angel on earth.  It's so hard to find purpose in seeing someone so young, so tiny go through so many struggles.  I know that you've fulfilled the purpose you had here on earth.  You brought people together.  You taught strangers to care and to pray and to find faith where maybe they didn't have any before reading about your struggles. 

I fell in love with you the first time I saw a video of you playing on your mom's blog.  Your beautiful eyes and your beautiful smile touched my heart and reminded me that no matter what is going on in my life that I am always blessed.  If you could get up each day and play your drums and smile at your family then I could honor you by greeting each day with a smile and a positive attitude.  The faith that your mom has in God inspires me to be more faithful myself, to trust in God to take care of myself, my child, and my husband.  I thought about her faith especially during my husband's deployment and I knew that no matter what happened that we would be okay. 

I prayed day and night for a miracle for you.  I prayed for your mom and your grammy and your family, your doctors, for a cure for EB, and all the people that love you.  And then I prayed for peace for you.  When I prayed for you last night I had a feeling that you'd be playing in heaven today.  And still I cried when I read that you had passed away even as I thanked God that you are no longer in pain. 

You, Tripp, are the miracle.  You are the light that reminds people that beauty exists in this world despite the cruelties that we may face.  You are the physical reminder that God is good.  I hug my daughter a little tighter every day and I spend more time thanking God for the blessings in my life.  Because of you and your mom I know I can face most anything life throws at me with dignity and faith. 

I thank your mom for sharing you with the rest of us.  I know it couldn't have been easy.  And I thank you for being such a brave little boy.  I will remember you for the rest of my life and someday I will tell my baby about a beautiful little boy who faced such adversity in his short life. 

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft star-shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die."
 
So with love I write this letter to you.  I hope to meet you someday in heaven.  Have fun.  Play hard.  And enjoy the life you were meant to lead next to our Father. 

Love, Jenn

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