Look Out Below! Bird Poop Stories 2.0

4 years ago

If you read my original bird poop inspired post, this post will make total sense.  If not, let me fill you in on all the details:  I posted about bird poop and this is a follow up.

More importantly, instead of MY bird poop stories (yes, they really stop before infinity), I am sharing some stories from my blogger friends!  I'm telling you, everyone has a bird poop story and this topic never gets old!

Pooped On For Love
Our favorite Editor In Chief  Val over at BonBon Break shared a romantic poop with us.  Get out your hankies people.  Val was the recipient of a bird poo package in the midst of being asked to prom by her high school boyfriend.  Val was in luck, as her boyfriend's letterman jacket shielded her from direct contact with the offending substance.  She said 'yes' if your wondering.

Welcome To Spain!
Amanda who blogs at The Eastern Bay  shared with me a package delivered upon her study abroad arrival to  Salamanca, Spain. Luckily for Amanda, the target was her glamorous, soon to be best friend who was joining as the lone participant from her school in San Diego.  We're talking as soon as she got off the bus.  Welcome to Spain.

Bus Stop Brunch Bomb

Amanda  from Exclusive Pumping (no this is not a story about getting a bird poop bomb while breastfeeding thank goodness!), shared with us a story that happened while she was a single 20-something in Chicago.  She was still slightly hungover one Saturday morning (those were the days), and was headed out to meet some single friends for brunch (I am picturing SATC here and she's Carrie), when she received the bird stamp while waiting for the bus.  She felt something wet on her back but couldn't see what it was.  Forgetting about the incident when the bus arrived, Amanda's helpful friends soon pointed out the large black poop stain upon her arrival to brunch.  Wearing the shirt for the rest of the meal and the bus ride home, Amanda must have a good sense of humor for her friends to laugh with her and not at her.

Celebrity Bird Poop
Courtney from The Brown Girl With Long Hair has remained bird poop free herself, and shared a story about Other People's Bird Poop (or OPBP -- yeah you know me).  Cloudy from being passed down through the generations of her family, Courtney told me the story of her dad running track at the University of Michigan, and his football playing friend Mike, a big guy and a popular student athlete at UM.   As big Mike left Michigan stadium one day, you guessed it... bird doody.  Square on the forehead. Not only was Mike a poo target, but was from that day forward a target of bird poop jokes as well.  He went on to become Courtney's Uncle Mike by marrying into the family, and the story followed him even after he got drafted into the NFL to play for the New York Jets.
Motorcycle Mahem
Julia at Happy House and Home let me know that she didn't have a bird poop story...oh wait...except for that time she was hit in the face with bird poop going 65mph on a motorcycle.  It hurt and she thinks some got in her mouth.  Ummmm...guess what, not only does that qualify, but it might be the best bird poop story ever.
Cute Poo
I was excited to receive a bird poop story from Anita, author of Blessed (but Stressed) - A Cancer Caregiver's Companionas I have read about her bird watching escapades  on her blog and was looking forward to some exotic bird shit.  Let's first pause and take in Anita's birding tip of not opening one's mouth while bird watching.  Very wise (Julia of Happy House and Home, take note).  So Anita's incident was actually the cutest I came across.  She was pooped on by a hummingbird and described it as 'watery spit'- awwwww!
A Bird Pooped On My Kid
My Parentz Bop songwriting buddy Meredith at Perfection Pending has a 4 year old child who was recently the target of a bird at the park.  Meredith made the giant mistake of alerting said child to the situation happening on the back of their shirt. The child had been clueless and happy up to this point, however, this news caused him to stand frozen in place and refuse to play.  Complete shirt removal was in order to proceed.  The moral of this story is that if a bird poops on your kid and they don't notice, proceed as normal and let them live in blissful ignorance.
The Birds Are Out To Get Me!
Sarah of Parent Your Business was a fountain of bird poop stories (she claims there are at least 4!).  In one incident, Sarah was biking around Vancouver Island while on a break from a convention.  As she rounded a bend with some coworkers, Sarah got BOMBED by a seagull.  We're talking loss of sight, making it necessary for her to stop and de-poo.   As she was stopped, her coworkers rode by warning her of the tons of birds still above.  Ominous.  She also gave honorary mention to a bird who pooped THROUGH a screen umbrella at a restaurant directly into her tea.
Seeing Red
Vidya blogs at Vidya Sury and is surrounded by flocks of birds in the building where she lives.  They also like to visit her balcony and have no fear of humans.  Her weekly task list includes scraping the bird shit off the balcony floor.  Per Vidya: "And now, we’re getting the building painted, and no sooner did the first coat go up – these guys have left little nuggets of their wisdom from their alimentary canal." I had to Google Alimentary Canal before I read the rest of her story, you can do the same.  Back to Vidya's balcony... one of the birds absconded with her red lacy bra that was hanging out to dry, but it had not properly secured.  It wasn't until she turned the house upside down thinking her mom had done something with it, and searched high and low for another several weeks that she and her mother spotted the tattered brazierre fluttering near a pipe coming from an alcove near their balcony.  Lets just say that the birds had left their mark and it was no longer useable.  On a more cheerful note, Vidya shared that some people feel it is good luck when a bird poops on the head or any body part.  I would suggest going directly to buy a lotto ticket the next time this happens.

Vanita of the Blogging Betties (check them out!!) and The Strategic Mama lives in an old 3 story frame house with a pointed roof in NYC. There are flocks of pigeons that hang out there and line up to look extra creepy for passers by.  Here is the part where I said to myself "Self, Vanita has gigantic balls", because Vanita's comment included these words to me: "Miraculously I’ve never been hit yet."  Jinxed much Vanita?  We're routing for you.

Thanks so much for sharing your stories ladies!!

Seriously, if this post saves just one person from being pooped on...I have done my 'doody'.


Susan Maccarelli

Blogger: Pecked To Death By Chickens


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