My wife and I have started the process to try to get pregnant with our first child. We have gone through all of the multitude of testing that our wonderful fertility specialist has recommended for us and are at the threshold of actually starting the insemination process. We are thankful for our insurance that helps defer a lot of the costs for the process and shake our heads at the lack of help offered to those that are in a similar boat (LGBT couples wanting to have a baby) and do not have domestic partners or fertility coverage available to them. I can't imagine the heartbreaking costs of that - and I don't want to.
What baffles me a lot about the process is how intensely quiet and secretive the IUI, ICI and IVF communities are. It's extremely challenging to find people that are going through a situation to talk through anything. And it's a crazy process overall with tons upon tons of hopeful wishing going through a process that sometimes doesn't come easy. It's hard to get excited about the process because it's filled with "what ifs" and no body wants to be the person that is constantly asked "hows it going??" on the baby front because what if it isn't going well? Then, that's just heartbreaking.
So many people/couples go through the process with a lot of clinical information and no real heart-felt information on how the process is because (understandably so) everyone is mostly secretive of their journey. It's a comparative environment - how long did it take you, did you start with ICI and then move to IUI, oh you have insurance that covers that, where did your donor come from, how much do you know about him? And then before you know it there's a ton of information about super personal decisions that you've made that are out there and being compared to other people/couple's super person decision and at the end of the day - no one's journey is better or easier than someone else's. It is different levels of heartbreak (and joy).
Just going through the process has really opened my eyes to this adventure that no one really talks about.
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