It’s the season that makes adults and pot heads everywhere swoon – Girl Scout Cookies are here!! When my daughter did her stint in Girl Scouts I was beyond excited to have this much yumminess under my roof. It became a financial burden though as I continued to bank roll my snacking addiction – but how do you NOT rip into a box of Samoa’s when they are just on the other side of your garage door calling you at all times of the day?
Well I have taken the liberty to rethink the descriptions they use for these little bites of awesomeness. I have listed them in order from the most sales to least (no surprise what is the lowest sale generator BTW).
- Thin Mints – If by thin they mean these fuckers will pack on some serious thickness on your thighs then yes, totally thin.
- Samoas/Carmel de lites – Again with the word lite in it…these are not lite by a long shot and you will look like a Samoan after eating the whole box. Trust me I have first hand experience when last year I figured I would wax the box in one sitting so I wouldn’t think about them constantly. First it was fantastic, second I was ill, third I had a Samoan food baby.
- Peanut Butter Patties/Tagalongs – Also known as nectar of the gods. These should have a disclaimer that say they will last on your tush ‘a-long’ time – still totally worth it.
- Do-si-dos/Peanut Butter Sandwiches – It so misleading…the word sandwich gives the illusion that I could totally just have this for lunch and be fine. Which of course I will because I am an adult and can do that without the kids knowing. I’ll just wash it down with a glass of milk and voila that is my definition of a balanced meal.
- Shortbread/Trefoils – You had me at bread. These things are like every AARP member’s crack, and it’s easy to know why. These cookies are fantastic, I think they have a stick of butter in each one.
- Thanks A Lot – The cookie with a message. This is a shortbread cookie dipped in chocolate! Talk about taking your game up another notch! And yes, you will be thanking yourself a whole lot when you step away from these caloric delights.
- Lemonades – This was a dicey option to take lemon icing and slather it all over the shortbread cookie. They have a cult following, I gotta say I am not a card carrying member.
- Savannah Smiles – Girl Scouts are really pushing the lemon movement with another cookie channeling it’s inner citrus zen. But the twist…powdered sugar. It’s like they are sprinkling drugs all over a cookie! Smooth move girls, smooth move.
- Dulce de Leche – How have I not had one of these?! OMG a cookie with caramel chips in it? I must have these…now.
- Cranberry Citrus Crisps – Well, I suppose they needed the token healthy cookie and here it is – 9g whole grains and real fruit. I’ll pass, I don’t eat cookies for healthy reasons (clearly).
This is one of my favorite seasons and really the only thing that makes 90+ inches of snow this year ok is knowing that my little boxes of heaven, delivered by sweet little angels themselves, will be arriving soon. And I am ecstatic to report I do not have to put on a swim suit until June!
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