Instructions for a Rain Dance.

5 years ago

Anne Kimball

Life on the Funny Farm

Have you ever seen a rain dance?

No?

Here, let me explain the steps...

1) Replace the tires on the wheelbarrow. Invent a few new cuss words while you're fighting with the #@*&% cotter pins.

2) Shovel and pitch all the old, nasty, smelly bedding.

3) Sprinkle DE on the coop floors and spread fresh new straw everywhere, including in your hair and in your ears and up your nose and down your shirt. If you do not resemble a scarecrow when you're done, go back and spread more.

4) Spray a liberal application of Poultry Protector on every surface. Be sure to coat your tonsils and nostrils so you'll be able to taste it for the next week and a half.

5) Stand back and admire your handiwork.

6) Feel the burn in your muscles, smell the stench on your clothes, admire your broken nails.

Wait for it....

In 3...2...1....

Deluge.

 PS: This dance may only work for you if rain water washes through your barn like it does in mine, rendering it a post-Katrina-like flood zone every time it rains.

PPS: Anyone know where I can purchase levee-reinforcing sand bags in bulk?

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