Interactions With My Husband

5 years ago

Hey Blogstalkers!

Here is my attempt to resurrect Five Things Friday.  Five interactions with my husband.

1) Not that long ago, a blissfully slumbering me, was awoken in the middle of the night by my husband shouting.  At first I was alarmed, thinking someone was breaking into our house.  And then I was momentarily nervous that if that was the case, the tiramisu I had been saving in the fridge for breakfast was probably in danger of being stolen.  But then I came to my senses and realized that Ryan was just shouting in his sleep and also that I had hidden the tiramisu really well so that neither Ryan nor burglars could find it.  And so I turned over and tried to ignore the incoherent but disturbingly loud mumblings coming from the other side of the bed.  But then Ryan was all "MATH!"  And I was like, "Yuck, remind me never to trade dreams with Ryan."

2) The morning after Ryan had his dream about cosines and tangents or whatever we had an argument because he said "For someone that claims they have no shame you certainly blush a lot."  And I was like, "I don't blush.  Never have.  I'm highly evolved."  To which Ryan was all "Huh?" and I was like "Ryan, you seriously need to read more books about vampires.  Blushing in front of a vampire makes them remember about how you are just filled with blood.  And then they can't help but eat you."  And then I won that argument, obviously.  Until later in the day when Ryan presented the following as evidence.

**When I say books about vampires, I am not talking Twilight.  I just read A Discovery of Witches and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.**

He was red from volleyball-related-exertion.  I was red from Ryan's mom mentioning prom


3) This is probably cheating since I already used it on Facebook, but if you haven't seen it already this was my status on Wednesday: Unpacking groceries today Ryan was all "Here will you put this in the fruit bowl?" and then tossed me a peach. Because I was lost in my own little world, I did not catch said peach and instead it just hit me in the throat. 

And then Ryan was all "Lauren, I'm sorry but seriously what are you always thinking?"

So since I'm me, in reply I sang, "That the only boy who could ever peach me, is a shirt-hating wiener fan."

And then Ryan gave me the weirdest look in the entire world and I realized how wrong that sounded and I was like "OH! NO! Not like that! You're just literally holding a package of hot dogs right now!"
So that was my afternoon.

4) Ryan decided this week that since I'm at home all day, it is now my job to plan our dates.  So then I planned a date for tonight and emailed it to him.  And then he re-tookover the role of date planner because of how he didn't want to "Sneak spiked Slurpees into Finding Nemo 3D."

5) Ryan is a White Sox fan, blech.  I am a Cubs fan.  Two of our good friends Julie and Caleb (remember them from this post?) grew up in Michigan and are Tigers fans.  The four of us went to the Sox/Tigers game on Wednesday.  This conversation ensued.

Julie: So who are you rooting for today?

Lauren: Probably the Tigers.  I don't think my heart or my face could stand another White Sox World Series win. 

Caleb: Wait..your face?

Lauren: Yeah, the last time the White Sox won the series, Ryan hit me in the face with a broom.

Ryan: It was an accident LAUREN.  I obviously didn't mean to hit you in the face with a broom.

Lauren: Yes but after the brooming you weren't apologetic even a little bit.  You just kept giggling maniacally and yelling "Sweep!"  And then some guy at another table at the bar was like "Did you just see that girl take a broom to the face?"

Ryan: You weren't hurt and the White Sox had just won the World Series.

Lauren: So yeah, that's why both my heart and my face can't take another one of those.

Here is Ryan still being excited that the Sox won the World Series like three years after it actually happened.

Lastly, a bit of business.  My FB friends have already seen this, but I'm looking to hire (without pay, mind you) a couple of contributors for the blog.  Four contributors to be exact.  Each to write a post for every fourth Tuesday.  I've already locked down two, but I'm still deciding on the others.  If you're interested please send me your idea/an example post to  I'm definitely looking for funny, original material, but also need these posts to follow a specific theme.  One of the bloggers already committed, for example, will be doing a monthly book club sort of thing.  In return for writing a monthly-ish column you will be featured on a "Contributors" tab that I will create as well as get a byline at the beginning of every post you write.  Also, because of the trouble I have keeping my mouth shut, I do not promise to not add my own commentary into your posts wherever I like.  Sorry about that in advance.

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