When I was 19, my husband & I eloped. We had known each other about 3 months, no one had met him, & all they could remember about him was that he was in the Air Force. As they got to know him they saw he was funny, well-mannered, & a heck of a lot of fun, much like me. We laugh at the same jokes, make fun of the same things, & know exactly what makes the other tick. They got it after the initial shock of us eloping in Vegas. But then something funny happened. I suddenly had one question thrust at me all the time, "So when are you having kids?"
Fast forward 3.5 years & we are still happily married & childless. Still, I get questioned by every single person I meet about why we don't have kids. The funny thing? Its only after they find out I'm a military wife. When did having a husband in the military make me a human incubator? When did being young & married equal me being pregnant? & most of all, when will everyone stop looking at me so shocked when I say I'm not ready?
For a bit of background, I did have a miscarriage. Without making this too much of a horror story, I didn't know I was pregnant until I wasn't anymore. It was quick & life changing, but we weren't trying. I about died inside with the hurt of loss but that didn't mean we were ready to try. Honestly, we just weren't ready.
When I tell people "we aren't ready" they look at me dumbfounded. We married young, he's in the military, but we don't have kids? Oh. Okay. ...well good. Just so you know, that isn't the normal response people give to everyone else. In fact, my married friends rarely get asked if they have kids. They usually volunteer the information & then people ask questions excitedly. Me? Nope, no kids. Oh...
I just need people to know I'm a military wife, proud & true, but I don't have any kids. I'm not infertile or in college. I'm not saying we're not having kids. I'm also not saying being young & having kids is a problem. Want to know what is the problem? That because I'm young & married to someone in the military everyone thinks I do.
We pay for way too much sushi to have a baby right now. What's wrong with that?
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