I'm Sitting Two Feet Away From My Daughter...
My old computer has been on life support for a few months, and finally froze up one too many times, and that was it...I was disconnected from the rest of civilization for about a month...turns out I didn't miss much...
Not much happens in January after the Packers blow the play-off...Really. At least there's TV...let's see, what's on? Oh! There's Katie Couric...who's she interviewing...some guy named Tivo...Tebow...no, Te'O...Well, it's Katie, so it's got to be someone important...I'm reading the news scroll underneath and it says she's interviewing him about his imaginary girlfriend on facebook...Wait!...For real??? Is this some kind of joke??? I have 875 friends on facebook and I've only met 50 of them!!! Some of them might not even be real for all I know...Where's my freakin' interview Katie??? Maybe I need to take up a sport...
(This is the MIZ from WWE RAW...I've been told RAW is a sport, and The MIZ is not imaginary either...AND he's hot! This photo was taken one month before I got laid off--not that that matters to anyone other then me)
I was lucky enough to be offered a part time job editing religious programs and believe it or not I really enjoy it...This is what I mean by editing religious broadcasting...Different churches send me their sermons on either CD or cassette (yes, cassette) and the sermon varies in length anywhere from 37 minutes to an hour, and my job is to somehow edit this sermon into a Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday show...Now, depending on their opens and closes or if they have any commercials I have to come up with a show that's anywhere in length from 9 minutes, 30 seconds, to 11 minutes...the last kid that did the job wasn't necessarily religious and based his editing on pure math and did the splices anywhere there was an amen or Halleluah...which was great because he was good at math, but I suck at math so I end up actually listening to parts of the sermon and try to edit where the pastor starts a point, and end the show about right where he/she ends a thought...but it gets tricky as you get towards the end of the week...At the beginning of the sermon you have all the pastors starting with bible verses and they're more peaceful but by the end of the sermon (week) where it's closer to the alter call, that's where it's trickier to get a great show for Thursday and Friday... Although all my preachers vary in sound and message....a few of them sound almost exactly alike when they are caught up in the Holy Spirit, taking on the sound of a Southern preacher, regardless of whether they're white, black, spanish, or a southern preacher...which caused a minor panic for me this past Friday night when I was listening to my radio station while driving home from work...Now, just because I edit the shows doesn't mean I've ever listened to any of the open or closes for the program...so at 5:30 pm I heard a nice soothing open introducing this particular church anchored in the heart of the city...and then the screaming started; "I'M TAKING THIS CAMP FOR GOD! I'M TAKING BACK THIS CAMP FOR GOD! I AM MARCHING INTO MY ENEMIES CAMP AND I AM TAKING THIS CAMP FOR GOD. I AM TAKING THIS CAMP BACK FOR GOD! I AM.TAKING.THIS.CAMP. FOR.GOD..."
It went on like this for the entire sermon. At first I was freaked out thinking I might have inadvertantly, accidently switched a pastor, you do have to be extremely careful when you are putting the shows in the system because several of the names of the pastor's shows sound familiar...For instance, there's Walk in the Word, and Walking in the World, there's Abundant which is a wonderful woman pastor from the North side, and Abundance, which is a Christian financial show by a white guy...but I relaxed when the show went over 9 minutes 30 seconds which meant I hadn't accidently switched the pastor I was worried about...being Friday and all I had merely reached the end of the sermon in my edits and was right before this pastor's alter call...I had started the editing for the Friday show right where the pastor began his point..."I AM TAKING THIS CAMP FOR GOD!"
The truly amazing thing was after the shock and all was how truly hypnotic this pastor became...because for exactly 11 minutes that's all he said was "I'M TAKING THIS CAMP BACK FOR GOD!....when, at the 10:59:56 I heard..."Amen." And I had a good chuckle over it I truly did...until I went in the house and realized that no one had walked the dogs and I'm tired, and it's cold, no one has made dinner, there's no clean dishes but most importantly at this very minute, someone has to walk the dogs and unfortunately it looks like it's gonna be me, when suddenly something welled up inside me like a gust of wind through my soul..."I'M TAKING THESE DOGS FOR A WALK FOR GOD! YES, I AM TAKING THESE DOGS FOR A WALK FOR GOD...I AM MARCHING OUT INTO THIS COLD WEATHER, ARMED WITH GOD'S GRACE AND A COUPLE OF POO BAGS, AND I AM WALKING THESE DOGS FOR GOD!!!
Then it dawned on me...Just about anything in life can be accomplished if you just decide you are going to take this camp back for God...I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE A BAD NIGHT! BY GOD'S ABUNDENT AND REDEEMING GRACE I AM GOING TO HAVE A GREAT NIGHT! AND TONIGHT I AM GOING TO TURN OFF THIS COMPUTER, AND TURN TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER SITTING TWO FEET AWAY AND TELL HER HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!!!
Or maybe I'll just post it on her wall.
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