I am kind of scared of going to the BlogHer conference.
I know that there must be lots of bloggers who feel the same way but I feel odd about it.
I mean, in my day-time life, I am a professional working woman and networking conferences and meetings are the norm. I know what it feels like to chat up people that I don't know. I know how to act professional yet personable. I know how to collect and pass out business cards.
I am prepared with my business cards, my site all clean and ready for view, and some new shoes to wear.
I have a list of goals for the conference--things I would like to learn, people I would like to meet, San Diego sights I would like to see.
But there is still this little anxiety about the conference.
You see, until now my blog has been my little hide-out---I have told a few friends and family members about it but I don't really flaunt it.
Going to BlogHer is a huge step in acknowledging Forty Cakes as a project worth acknowledging. Not only am I going to leave my kids for four plus days---I am spending a lot of money and flying across country to talk, promote, and network about my blog!
I don't even tell most people that I have a blog!
I was talking to a colleague the other day and I mentioned that I would be going to San Diego for a conference.
"Oh, are you going to the boring professional scientist conference?"
I felt the need to quickly change the subject. "Um....No, oh, I have never been to that boring scientific conference. Is it good?"
This is something I don't even really know how to explain to people-especially those close to me. I can just hear the conversations now.
Them: "You are flying across the country to talk to some people about your blog?"
Me: "Yes, it is a networking conference and I will learn to build my blog and meet lots of neat women who also blog."
Them: "Ummm... what is a blog again?"
For the last year and a half, Forty Cakes is a project that I put heart and soul into. A project that I devote most of my extra time to (in between working two jobs, parenting, and trying to stay healthy). My kids and husband understand but no one else does.
By going to BlogHer, I feel that I am saying, "Hey everyone, come look at Forty Cakes-it is awesome!" but really deep inside I am thinking, "Hi everyone, if you could look at Forty Cakes and help me make it better, I will be most appreciative. I mean, I like it--but do you?"
Going to BlogHer will make me acknowledge my blog to whole group of women who blog. I'll be putting my creative self out there and that is something that I have never been completely comfortable with (hence, my career in science). I'll be trying to network with a group of women that already know each other. I am going alone. I may even be by myself many times during the conference.
But, I am trying to embrace the positive aspects of the conference. I will meet a ton of bloggers. I will learn a lot. I will run a 5K, stay in a nice hotel and get some SWAG. I will attend the Pathfinder session and really learn a lot. I will figure out how to use Twitter more effectively. I will stay in a nice hotel, kid-free, and be working on something I like.
After I really think about, I may be a little scared of going to BlogHer but I think I am more excited. Hopefully, I will meet you there!
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