I'll Keep You Posted

6 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

I’ll KeepYou Posted…

I’m a woman who is, let’s just say somewhere over 45…yeah, let’s just say that. This blog is going to be random thoughts and observations along the way of the twisting road that is my life. I’ll warn you, I also have A.D.D. (I’ve never been officially diagnosed by an actual doctor, but I’ve taken plenty of those “You might have A.D.D. quizzes, and I always have most of the symptoms.) So, my thoughts tend to take side roads. When I suddenly switch to a totally different subject while talking to my grown children, they just say “squirrel!” because a mental squirrel just scampered across the path of my thoughts and took my attention. Believe me, you’ll know when that happens in this blog. I’ll try to stay on the path though.

 I've been a widow for almost nine years. I have two sons, one is 30, the other is 23. The 30 year old is married to an incredible woman who is also the mother of my only grandchild – a boy who is 4 ½ going on 25. The kid’s a genius. (I’m sure of it!) She is also the daughter I never had, only better because I missed the teen angst years. My youngest son is at culinary school and doing great! I live in a two bedroom apartment in a college town in the Midwest, with my old dog who is a shelter dog and looks like a Jack Russell on steroids…I suspect he’s mixed with Pit Bull. He’s sweet, but when he goes home to see Jesus, I will be pet free for many years. Maybe forever. So, there are the basics about me.

You’ve heard that saying, “If I would’ve known I was going to live this long I would’ve taken better care of myself,” right?  Well, if I would’ve known, after my husband died, that I would actually want to date (even remarry) again, I would’ve taken better care of myself! Would I ever!!

My husband died almost nine years ago, and I had absolutely NO desire at all to even go out to dinner with a man! (with the possible exception of Tom Selek or Denzel Washington, but neither of them ever called me) I was absolutely certain that my romantic life was over. “Never gonna happen!You can take it to the bank!” I would tell anyone who suggested I might remarry someday. I was as sure of that as I was that I will never be Queen of England..

My dad died when I was very young and when asked why she didn’t remarry, my mother would say, “I don’t want some damn man telling me what to do!”  Honestly, I don’t think any man would’ve made the mistake of even trying to tell my mother what to do more than once! But, I don’t want some damn man telling me what to do either – I’d rather be telling him what to do…

But, you get the picture – I was done!  Well, that’s what I thought. But this spring, I started noticing men – mostly younger ones, but hey, a girl can dream! So, I have these “stirrings” and I think that growing old alone probably isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I might want to find some nice man to walk into the sunset of my life with. Of course, I don’t want someone to take care of, so maybe I should go for someone younger… nah, the amount of body work I’ll have to do to get an old guy is formidable, so I’d better not aim for a younger man, unless I win the lottery and so will be able to pay for lots of cosmetic surgery!

I've started using eye cream and face cream religiously - something I didn't do for most of my life. That's my biggest regret about my appearance. I even put face cream on my chest and my cleavage - because, nobody wants to see old cleaveage. I know I don't! I'm sure nobody else does either.

I decided I would get contacts because I thought it would make me  look younger. I see much better with contacts. That's the good news and the bad news. The bad news is that I can see my face much better. YIKES! I look a lot worse than I thougt! A LOT worse! (I should prbably go for an older man - with failing eyesight.)

I did join a weight loss group and I’m walking…which is a start. So far, I’ve lost 20 lbs…it’s almost noticeable! At least now I’m walking in the right direction…

I’ll keep you posted.

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