I Confess. Thinking About the End is Hard

6 years ago

This morning I started the day as usual with me checking headlines on the 7a.m. news.  Some habits die hard.  Then I had a little quiet time and a cup of joe as I ran through my self-alloted time on Facebook and Twitter.

What caught my eye was a post by Martha Southgate (read her books) on parent healthcare and the medical profession's obsession with longevity. The NY Mag article is titled "A Life Worth Ending" and in true SEO fashion, it sucked me in. Aren't we all interested in longevity.

But after reading and acknowledging that I have decisions to make, I began to feel sad.   Believe me, I have had recurring thoughts about how I plan to be taken care of at the point at which I can no longer take care of myself.  I cannot be certain that I will either die in my sleep or go quickly with a heart attack.

But as recently as last Christmas Day I made a trip to the emergency room only to discover I had a case of shingles. That was the last time I asked myself many of questions posed by this writer about the care of his mother, how and when to pull the plug. The only thing is I am the mother.

I called on my common sense, sometimes called wisdom.  I went outside and got busy in my garden.  I planted lettuce and nasturtiums until I could gather my emotions to write this. There is no one to call to process how I feel.  If my mother were alive, this is the kind of conversation I would have with her.  She would say something wise to console and help me cope. This is not the kind of conversation one has with friends unless perhaps there are virtual.

The truth is, most people do not want to be reminded of an 'end' and certainly do not want to have this discussion.  But this is something we must all either face or leave to fate.

So does knowing that you are not alone make you feel any better about this?  What steps have you taken to address your healthcare.  Did you notice how I worded that?  I clearly have issues and cannot even pose a direct question. 

 

Cross posted at www.boomerwizdom.com

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