I committed to Smith College

4 years ago

Robin's View

Well I'm over the Moon with happiness. I have accepted my offer from Smith College and I am now a "Smithie". To be exact I am an ADA Smithie. This is a program offered to students who are returning to college after a certain age. For most schools that's 25.  Smith's Ada Program is unique in that they meet our financial need as well. So if I were a well off person I would be expected to pay for a percent or all. On the other end if you are income limited shall we say, you will be offered some financial support in the guidelines of your need.  Also I'm hopeful that I will be awarded family housing on campus. This would be such an amazing experience living on campus with my daughter who is 14 and struggles with Aspergers.


How did I come to this choice? Well its not as easy as you would think. Going forth with my education past my community college is a leap of faith in and of itself. Being that I turn 50 this year also made me ponder longer. Lastly which school fits my needs and my families and my financial abilities? So finding Smith is like hitting the lottery for me. Being accepted is yet another thrilling moment. So I'm over the moon and I think I will stay here for a time relishing the feelings.


Well that's part of my story, so for the whole picture. I am a mom of 4+. I say + because I have helped to raise and grown to love many more children in my world who have also come to a closer bond. I have hosted 8 successful high school exchange students who own a part of my heart. So my own children are 28, 27, 24 and 14. I was married for 25 yrs and divorced 4 yrs ago. It was something I pushed for. We would no longer grow together our time had come to move forward into new areas. He didn't want more from life, not education, not travel and I did. He sought to derail me many ways over the last 10 yrs of our marriage and I guess I didn't realize or see how I could change it. Now of course looking back I do. Any who, we struggle to raise our last daughter with compassion for each other. Actually this is not man hating because I wanted to Co-parent and it wasn't part of his idea. So he's made me 'pay' for the divorce. He resents most of my success and belittles and assaults me to my children. I have learned to deal with it. Lucky for me, us, he is getting remarried and now I am no longer as evil, bi-polar as before. Of course I'm still a money hunger bitch but hey I can live with that too.


So as I mentioned before, my 14 yr old daughter has Aspergers. This was a new diagnosis to us last year and now its totally what we were missing. She has had several other diagnosis’s before. Developmentally delayed, failure to thrive, simple... BUT combine all the issues and you get finally Aspergers. A long road to go but atleast we have arrived at something to work with. The positive results of Aspergers for us is knowing how to help, not feeling outcast as before and understanding why she is struggling with what. 


My oldest daughter also has Aspergers but refuses to get tested. In 1996 I heard about Aspergers and convinced that she had it I went to the dr. who then said, it’s not common in girls so she's just shy and introverted. BULLSHIT! She suffered so much from that one denial and my not understanding what to do. We as a family suffered from her behavior and we struggled to keep her from freaking out. This in turn affected all the other kids. If only I knew then right, but it is what it is. She lives at home with me and she has a son also living with us. I have just given her the relocate yourself talk again. She needs to be independent and I need my independence from her. At 28, married, soon to be divorced and mother, she needs to take responsibility for herself and her son. I've carried that load long enough. I love her but I over-parented, helicopter mom in some ways, now I have to use my own name and kid my little birds out of my next.

I have a son, 27, who lives outside of DC and he's independent and married as well. He is gay so his husband and he are making life work.

I have another daughter who is struggling with depression currently but she will get better. She lives with me and will continue to until she's gotten a better grip on treatment and meds. I pray for this to be before end of summer. 

Well that's about the whole story of my present life. I am happy and feeling valued and allowing myself to grow and learning that I have needs and they matter. Great start for my new life.

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