How to Survive Being Alone OR Lonely

4 years ago

I believe most women have experienced these feelings at some point in their life.  For some, more often than others.  Even myself.  You are not alone!  But I understand what you are saying and how you are feeling.  When you are ready to share your life with someone else and want a companion to share it with for whichever goals you have as a relationship, it's very frustrating and upsetting when you cannot find what you want and what you are looking for.  And it seems the MORE you want it, the MORE you can't find it!  And the MORE frustrated and upset you get!  Then that whole thought process seems to pull in all these other negative thoughts which drag you down even lower, right?  So.... here's some things to try to make you feel better and to survive being alone until you find what you are looking for.   And you WILL find what you are looking for!  It just may take doing things or looking at things a little differently ;)  In the meantime, try any of these:

1) When you start feeling like you are caving in with negative thoughts and emotions, take a walk.  Get into a larger space.  Look around you at the things outside.  Look at big things, small things, close things, far away things.  Make sure you are really looking at them.  Look at the sky.  Feel a tree.  Pick up a rock.  Do this until you stop thinking inwardly and are extroverted and feeling better.

2) Stop yourself from thinking and saying to yourself, "I will never get _____"  "I will never find _____"   What's wrong with me?"  These thoughts are not true and you will only enforce your situation by going over those in your mind like a circuit.  I know it's easier said than done but that's why we do #1 or one of the other #s.

3) Call a friend.  A positive one!  Not the friends or family members that are going to say, "oh you are better off any way, trust me"  or "just work on yourself and then look for that"  OR  "When you stop looking, then you will find what you are looking for".  Whether there is truth in these statements or not, they never make a person feel that much better.  SO, call a friend that will listen and acknowledge you without being negative about the subject.  Sometimes, it even feels good when you talk to someone else who has experienced the same feelings or is at the same stage in life as you.  Sometimes it feels better to know someone understands EXACTLY what you are feeling!

4) Get in an action that makes you feel good (and of course takes your mind off of these feelings).  That could be cleaning, writing, painting, running, working.  You get the idea.  An action where you are moving the body tends to work well when you are feeling that low.  But you know best what works for you.  So force yourself to get into that action (it will take some effort) but once you start, then it gets easier and the thoughts and feelings will not seem so overpowering. 

5) Help someone else.  Sometimes to observe someone else in need, takes the focus off us and puts it on another.  Plus, sometimes there problems are greater than ours and then ours don't seem so bad ;)  It always feels good to help someone else.

These are 5 great tips that work!  However, if you have ongoing feelings like this, there may be something in your life that is effecting you without your awareness to what it is.  Sometimes what we think is making us feel down is not the actual source to what is making us feel low.

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