Hey Bloggers! I Want More Shine

6 years ago

This is me, on Twitter, this afternoon, sort of losing it:

"Everybody here trying to help others just needs to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Ignore the haters. cc: @dooce @mom101 @lovethatmax"


"Say it with me now: IGNORE! I IGNORE YOU, HATERS! Gonna keep doing what I do, & trying to help, come what may."

"Maybe we could write a song called 'I Ignore You, Haters'. Who's good with lyrics?"



I think I'm going to start a new hashtag ... drumroll please ...


I've had it. I'm so tired of seeing what people do to each other in the blogosphere. What's with the judgment? What's with the controversy? Whisky tango foxtrot?

I spent last week at the Type A Parent Conference. I had such a lovely time seeing all sorts of wonderful and diverse bloggers, all of whom were so gracious and supportive of each other.  It was refreshing.  To be honest, I was kind of waiting around for the griping to start. You know the deal: Giveaway bloggers vs. bloggers who don't do PR. Bloggers who make money vs. bloggers who don't. "Big" bloggers vs. "small" bloggers. "Nice" bloggers vs. "mean" bloggers.  It always happens eventually at these blogging events. It takes time, but eventually derision and envy and judgment find their way out.  

Only this time, they didn't. There was no big controversy. No cat fights. All I felt was a genuine mutual admiration and respect and support among the entire group.  Maybe it was something in the water in Asheville, but whatever the cause I liked it.  It made me feel good about them and blogging.  I even felt better about myself for a while.

Then I come home and I see Heather Armstrong getting attacked in a practical shouting match on Twitter, and in some of the comments to a post on Mom-101. Then I see the nasty things people are saying to Ellen Seidman of Love That Max, who is trying to speak about how we need to stop making fun of kids with special needs and stop using the R-word.  And I'm back to the ugly place. What the hell? Where did the love go?

We need to help each other stop it.  You need to help me and I need to help you.  We can help each other stop the bickering.  There are so many things on which we are going to disagree.  Politics.  Causes.  Blogging.  Parenting.  I know I've taken positions with which others did not agree. But we can be nice about it, can't we?  We don't have to tear each other down, do we?  

I get mad.  I get mad all the time.  I get huffy and overbearing about postpartum depression and how few services there are and how no one gets it and how no one gives any money and how no one gives a damn.  Absolutely, I do.  I usually always feel terrible about it after the fact, when I barrel past advocacy and into asshole territory.  I'm really trying to learn how to do it in a way that doesn't detract from others.  I hope you can see that.  I hope you'll help me.

I love what one of my followers tweeted to me today so much that I had to share: "Keep on moving, keep blinding them with your shine."  Thank you so much @addyeB.  I want to blind people with my shine.  I want you to blind people with your shine, too.

Please y'all.  New or not-so-new blogger, famous or not famous, religious or atheist, straight or gay, single or married, parent or not, bottle or breastfeeding, work at home or away from home, vegetarian or meat-eater, Democrat or Republican, for a cause or against it, what-the-eff-ever, please just keep blinding us with your shine.

I want more shine.  

And the nastiness?  



Katherine Stone blogs at Postpartum Progress .  You can follow her on Twitter at @postpartumprogr

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