Here you have my Bra
Today is one of those days when I have got a headache with all these languages inside my head: Spanish, Czech and English, three languages I use every day : "Buenos días cariño" , "Dobře rano miláčku" , "Good morning Darling"
Nothing against the English and of course not against the spanish, but the Czech, the Czech language, what a pain! What a tongue ache! My foreign friends who live in this country will better understand what I am talking about, because it's not easy at all, no ladies and gentlemen, it took me almost three years to learn how to pronunciate the "ř" which sound is unnatural, it is like trying to vocalise a normal "r" but with two lemons inside your mouth, try it!, it's not easy is it?
As my granny says, I speak a lot, even with the stones, and this quality or defect leads me always to communicate with other human beings, so this is why even as a newcomer in Czech I didn't let the language get me down, because as a good latin american girl I deal with almost everything, including czechs.
So, my first week, dictionary in one hand and the son in the other towards the little shop on the corner, that here in Czech they call "večerka" ( now then, this is one of the first signals where I started to think that this language doesn't have any logic at all - if you translate word by word "večer" means "night" and "ka" means "of the" so the shop means "Of the night" ? Why? Only the Czechs know). Anyway I went to "of the night" even though it was afternoon to buy some bread, I had learn’t before the phrase "prosim deset chleba" which means "please ten breads".
After one week, I was feeling like the queen of mambo, thinking how good I was! I was going to buy bread every day and for the last couple of days I didn't even take my dictionary, the strange thing was that every time I went into the shop the saleswoman started to laugh, so I was starting to feel I little bit intimidated by that, and I decided to go back one afternoon and ask her what was the funny thing, maybe she will explain to me the joke, and she answered "I am always looking forward to seeing you, you are the only one who comes in to buy flees and leaves with bread" I didn't realised my terrible confusion with words instead of saying "chleba=bread" I was saying "bleha=flees".
The winner of the Oscar for the stupidity of the year could be my experience at the Post office, I got closer to the window where a friendly czech was attending, after greeting him, I offer to leave my bra signed, because "potvrzenka=receipt" and "podprsenka=brassiere" are completely different things. At least I can not critcise the attention from the men at the Post Office, try to leave your bra and you will find a similar friendly response !!
If I will write about all my failed experiences with the czech language I would have material to write a book, I can reassure you that after eleven years living here I don't try to buy flees anymore, leave my bra at post offices, sign my full urine, instead of power of attorney (plnou moc, or moč?) give a sympathy card to my ex mother in law instead of a birthday one but is very good sometimes to act the "silly foreigner on the road" especially with the Czech policemen, "me poor little Peruvian, ne mluvit česky" I just love the Czech policemen agh!
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