Golden Years Not So Golden

4 years ago

I never gave much thought to what life would be like when I turned 62. Although I didn't marry until I was 59, I had been with the same man for 26 years, choosing to be childless, and retiring from a teaching career after 30 years. Now, after almost ten years of retirement, I am left feeling sad and at loose ends, with nothing of interest to keep e busy, no children or grandchildren, nothing to make me get up and moving everyday.
I don't really care for our retirement location (Florida), but my husband does and refuses to move anywhere that experiences the smallest amount of cold weather. He has golf and cards and works when he wants to. I am not as healthy as he and have not made any friendships. I miss my extended family in other states. I have lost several loved ones over the last three years which brings my mortality, and those I love, to mind daily.
I keep wondering, is this all there is? Is this what I have to look forward to for however many years I remain on this earth?
I see my Facebook friends posts with their pictures and stories of family and travel and wish, in hind site, that I had created a fuller life for myself in some way. Retiring at 53 was entirely too early I now know, and I find there is a great deal of age discrimination out there as I have tried to find work for some time.
I'm sure there are many more women out there in similar situations and I am curious as to how they have managed to renew themselves. I just never thought I would be living like this at age 62, which is relatively young. It's not really living, honestly; more like surviving, going through the motions.
Any thoughts?

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