It started out as a pretty good day today. Had my last "first" day of class today, my Psych class. Best group so far. Only 9 of us in the class and that works well since we will be spending every Saturday from 9am-11.50am for the next 3 months together. Nice folks. Had a good time. Liked my prof. After class everything stayed hunky dory- went to mom's to help her paint and got her entire bedroom painted. Got to listen to about 5 episodes of my favorite podcast (Stuff You Missed in History Class) while painting. Swell day. Then it all happened at once. I couldn't find my debit card and I needed to go to Sam's to get a cheese tray for Trisha Gautreaux's "Divorce is Final" Slumber party so I borrowed mom's VISA. No big whoop. I went to Sam's, found everything I needed and waited for close to 10 minutes in line. Still I am fine. I chit chat with the 2 toddler girls in front of me, discussing the smoky flavors of gouda versus the creamy French emmental that were in my cheese tray(it was a really good cheese tray) and just being silly. Ha Ha. After they and their parents make their way thru the line and leave me at the ready I discover that Sam's does not accept VISA credit cards. VISA debit cards? They are all over those bad boys but the credit cards? Not so much. In fact not at all! Great. Just great. I am a mere 10 minutes from being late. Since I am chronically late I am sure it came as no surprise to my infinitely patient friends that I would not be there on time but still I like to make the effort. I called my mom to vent and I felt bad because she felt to blame- I assured her it was in no way her fault. She tells me she will be arriving at the Walmart next door within minutes for a shopping expedition of her own and that she could switch cards with me so we do that. Well..I TRY to do that. It took me almost 5 full minutes to get there as the traffic was so thick I almost gave up. We exchanged cards and I headed back to Sam's. It seems that in the 10 minutes I am gone everyone in southwest Louisiana has decided to check out at Sam's. I WAS lucky enough that my stuff was still at the register where I left it so no traipsing thru the store for me. I scurried to visit my buddy in optical and convince him to check my stuff out and he did. YAY!! Leaving Sam's! Whew! I will only be 5 minutes late. Yah. Not true. I got the cheese tray, a box a grapes, a box of ringpops(can't have a divorce party without them!) and some fresh blueberries (@$4.98). Heading to the car I decide to leave the buggy about 10 yards from the car in a corral so I don't feel guilty for abandoning it loose in the lot and I open the van with the magic key bob and tottle on over to the van. As I lean in to put my teetering stack of goodies in the most awful thing happens...the blueberries fall. Holy Moses. It really was like a movie. In slo-mo and all. I watched as the precious blue marbles hit the edge of the doorway and the plastic clamshell splits open, pouring them all over the vacant parking spot next to me. You have to be kidding me, right? This isn't happening. I stood there for about 20 seconds debating whether I should cut my losses and leave them or scurry around in the dark on black asphalt like a crazy person picking them up. Guess which choice I made? Yes. The crazy scurrying lady. That was me in my boots with 4 inch heels. Squatting, kneeling, stretching on the ground, hands and knees , collecting ALL of the escaping blueberries. I do believe that I may have recovered all but 3 or 4 of them. I was pissed. I was not losing my berries. Not for $5!! By this time I am now 10 minutes late. No shocker. Typical me. Dammit. I decide to take the "shortcut" to get where I am going on the other side of town. Thwarted again. Unbeknownst to me every "shortcut" that I know is under construction and forces me into detours that send me out of my way and at some point cause me to become lost. I have lived in this town over 13 years. And I got lost. Seriously. As I finish up let me disclose to those who don't know- I don't drink. It's not a hard and fast rule; I just prefer not to drink. Don't usually like it and just normally stay away from it. As soon as I reached my destination tonight they handed me a shot. I was so pissed that I just threw it back and didn't even blink. I hadn't realized that EVERYONE had a shot and it was supposed to be "group" shot. Hmm. I'll do another. So tonight I think I broke a record. I drank 3 shots and 2 16oz cocktails. I was drunk in less than 15 minutes. Go me. The moral of this story? Don't buy blueberries.
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