Getting Back Up On The Horse....

6 years ago

Here types one very happy girl. Tonight I got back up on the Crossfit Horse. Woo Hoo!! I went to my first Crossfit WOD (Workout of the Day) at a brand new Crossfit Gym. This particular gym was opened by two old gym mates of mine from my previous gym. It's been a long road for them as they strived to achieve their dream of opening their own Crossfit Box (gym). I've watched through pictures and Facebook posts as the gym has come together. Saturday was their Inaugural WOD, but since it was a Trail run day for me, I didn't attend. I did stop by after our run and promised Lou that I would be back this week.

I can't tell you how good I feel right now. For those that don't know, it has been approximately 3 months since I have actively been to the gym. Up until the middle of August I was happily part of a Crossfit Gym/ Family in Virginia Beach. I don't know what happened, or really how to explain it but I went in for a WOD on a Monday and everything felt wrong. As I said It's not something that I can readily explain. It was a feeling, a sense that something was very off. It was as if there was something in the air. I went home after the WOD and tried to explain it to hubs, but I just couldn't. I thought back to the previous weeks and began to realize that there were faces I was not seeing anymore, and when I saw things that they had posted, they were related to other Crossfit Boxes. So I asked, and found that they had quietly left the gym. These were people who had been original members of the gym, and now they were WODing somewhere else.

Over the next few days and weeks, I began to realize that I was finding more reasons not to go to the gym than to go. Even though I was still paying my monthly membership, I couldn't get myself into the gym. Every morning I would get up and I would get my gym gear ready. I would tell myself that I was going to go that day, but when I got home from work the thought of going would send my heart racing, and I would find any reason not to go. I contacted one of the trainers/owners and tried to explain the problem. I wanted to know if it was just me, or if there was something else going on. I got absolutely no response back, that's when I knew that my time at that gym was done. It was also at this point that I started to hear from others who had left. They too, had the same feelings as I did. They too felt that something was off, or wrong and that's why they left. It gave me peace of mind to know that it wasn't just me, but I was left feeling so sad and lost.

Losing the gym was heartbreaking for me. The best analogy that I can give is that it was very much like a breakup or divorce. I had invested so much time and effort into the gym; and it had become  so much more than a gym. It was a community and family that was now it was gone. I had never been associated with such a motivating, loving, bad ass group of people before. There wasn't one person there who thought that they were any better or more important than another. Everyone pulled for everyone else, and wanted nothing more than for each other to be the best that they could be. This place, this gym had been a home away from home. It had been a haven where I could go and throw weight around and forget the problems of the day. It was a place that had taught me that no matter what life had thrown at me that I was mentally and physically tough enough to handle it. Crossfit had become a way of life for me. It became part of who I was, and when it was gone I truly felt like I had lost a piece of myself. I was so damn depressed. I mean how do you move forward when you lose a part of yourself? We all define ourselves by the things we are and the things we do. When that part is no longer there, what is one to do?

For the last 3 months people kept telling me to find a new gym; but that was much easier said than done. Deep down I knew that if I didn't get back into the gym soon, I might never get back in. So, I tried other Boxes. Don't get me wrong, the people were always nice and welcoming. They took many of the members of my gym in, and allowed them to attend free of charge. The problem was that it just didn't feel right there. I would find myself silently comparing to my old gym, and the new box just wouldn't stand up. I was also missing my people, my Crossfit family. I was missing the familiar faces that pushed me to be my best. I was missing my comrades that I had laughed with, and cried with, and laid with on the concrete floor in pools of our own sweat after a particularly hard WOD. It finally got to the point that I just stopped going altogether.

I finally got word about a month and a half ago that a few different people I knew were going to open their own gyms. In fact Valiant Crossfit is the second one to open. This brought up a whole new problem, GUILT. Which gym to go to. I mean I love all three sets of people who are opening gyms. How do I choose. If losing my gym was like a divorce, this was the custody battle. Which parent do the kids go with. No one wants to hurt anyone else's feelings. How do I choose without hurting anyone. As I said, currently 2 of the 3 gyms are now open. Ultimately I had to make a choice.

So tonight, I made my way to Valiant Crossfit for my first WOD. I will admit to being nervous. It has been 3 months after all. I had doubts running through my head, "Will I be able to make it through the WOD?" "How much strength, etc have I lost being out of the gym?" "Will it be like starting again?" When I got to the gym, I was happy to see a good size 5 pm class in progress, and they looked like they were getting their asses kicked. I saw Lou and she seemed so happy to see me. I also saw some of my favorite people like Rocky, and Gina, and Jeff all working hard and killing the WOD. This was the feeling I had been looking for.

I looked around to see who would be attending the 6pm class. I took a deep breath when I realized that it would be just Vince and I. On one hand, all the focus is on you. Both Lou and Joe were training so they would be focused on Vince and I and would see all our form mistakes, and there would be no room for slacking. On the other hand it was like having a private training session. We knew that we could really focus on getting things right and correcting whatever mistakes Joe and Lou saw.

The WOD was 5 sets of 3 reps of dead lifts at 80% of your 1 rep max. Now I have a 1 rep max of 205 # for the dead lift. 80% would have been 160#. I made the conscious decision that since I had not been in the gym regularly since August, I would do 135#. By doing this I was able to maintain my form, and get in good lifts. After the WOD, we had a cash out of 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 reps of pull ups, sit ups, and double unders. This was a lot harder than it sounds because if you kept moving (no breaks) it really became Cardio intensive. I am happy to report that for me I killed it. I finished the WOD and cash out exhausted but feeling better than I have in months. I am counting the hours until tomorrow nights WOD.

 

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