Forgiveness isn't for Wimps

5 years ago
About 4 years ago, I got a phone call from my mother. I rolled my eyes and thought really what does she want? ugh....  I didn't really want to talk to her at the moment, but I answered the phone.. and she had been crying. She wanted to apologize for "Everything I've put you through"  Which in itself is a loaded sentence, since everything meant alot. It meant she was apologizing for putting her dating life in front of her relationship with me, it meant all the names she called me, it meant the many nameless hurts I had endured over the years. Most of all it meant that she was apologizing for choosing the man who molested me over her parental rights even after he admitted that all I had said was the truth. It meant that she was taking responsibility for her part in it happening again a few years later at the hands of the same man, and those were the things she listed as well. She went into detail about the things she was seeking forgiveness for. And I forgave her...
 I love my mom, I have forgiven her. I still forgive her, even when she doesn't ask for it. The guilt that she felt that caused her to call me, is the guilt she still carries. She can't seem to find a way to forgive herself. It's heartbreaking for me to see her go down this spiral of guilt and shame. She has good days and bad days, in those bad days, it's full of sadness and sometimes bitterness.  I have reminded her many times of my love and forgiveness, I've reminded her of Jesus's sacrifice that shows his love, grace and mercy for us. She knows it in her head... she needs to feel it in her heart. This is something I pray for every day.

Here is what I've learned from all of this:

Put up with each other, and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.{ Colossians 3:13 GWT}

Man those words ring loudly to me.... 
Forgiveness is something I struggle with.  My struggles are for those offenses without apology.  It's so easy to forgive when those in our lives apologize. BUT it happens that you will let a friend know what happened and how it hurt you, and you don't receive the apology or reaction you {feel} you deserve??  Well that is when we get angry, and more hurt isn't it?? I've learned that if I share my hurt with the one who hurts me, that is when the forgiveness needs to happen. 
We need to let it go from there. I need to let it go from there.  It is SO vital to our walk with the Lord to forgive.
 My wise and wonderful husband reminds me of this perspective.. 
The Lord sent his SON to die for our sins, to SHOW that he forgives all. And if he can forgive ALL of the sins we commit against him, repeatedly and daily, who are we to withhold forgiveness from anyone? 

And in forgiving others... we are free! 



This is a statement that can be trusted and deserves complete acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, and I am the foremost sinner. 
{Timothy 1:15 GWT}
There it is... that verse there.  Now I'm not judging Paul by his previous actions before he was transformed.We all have a past from before we were transformed by God's gracious gift. Paul however had killed Christ Followers. And this is who the Lord hand picked and chose to spread his Gospel, and to help us understand how to live a life in the Word, and understand that Jesus IS the covenant. WOW the Lord picked HIM???? Yes he did. He did it to show just what forgiveness looks like. Paul recognized what a gift it is to accept the grace of God, to accept his forgiveness. The way you see yourself is not an accurate picture of what Jesus has done for you. When you deny yourself forgiveness, after Jesus has already forgiven you, what are you really telling Jesus? And would you say it to his face?? Would you tell Jesus that HIS sacrifice wasn't enough? Would you say that you don't believe his grace is enough?? 

Forgiveness is a gift, given freely with out strings. It is to be accepted with joy and gratitude not hesitation, disbelief and guilt. Without it you will be hindered and held back from freely and confidently living out who you really are in Christ! You will be hesitant and feel unworthy to approach your Heavenly Father, because you feel you're a failure and unworthy... this is why it is so important to forgive yourself. 
You are a new creature in Christ, don't cage yourself by withholding forgiveness.. life in confidence that {ALL} of your past is paid in full. 

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
{Romans 8:1 nkjv} 

I know today's post was a bit longer, and I thank you all for reading!! Please post your thoughts below.

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