Fateful Move

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

Actually, I was happy to move out of that apartment. I had my mother move in the last six months of my lease, to help with the loss of my salary. We were both miserable. My mother is generally a miserable sort, and with me having what she perceived to be “a great life” – she only became more miserable.  But, in general, that apartment cost so much money.  Years later I discovered that my electric bill was handled by a third party because of some spam email that I had received and clicked onto. I ended up paying 2-3 times more for electricity, and was still fighting it years later. Oh, then there was the maintenance man, remember the DIY camera I set up? Well, there was a ton of other things I got suspicious about, but was never able to catch him again. For example, appliances were intermittently grounded – one day every piece of machinery would shock us, and then when we’d call maintenance, they would act like we were crazy. Oh, and the heating filtration system – the dust that caked upon our belongings every day was apprehensible. We were breathing it. It took several calls for the complex to realize that there was no air filter installed in our apartment’s heating vent.

That, and all my clothing getting shredded by the “kitten” – uh huh.

Stuff like that.

So add my classes, the ones I taught and the ones I took. Add my failed marriage to a man that, pretty much hated my guts. Add my failed romantic pursuits (virtual and real), and the loss of one of my closest “virtual” friends, Arthur  – oh which reminds me…

I almost forgot about MJ.

Ah, Facebook.  You’ve become the bain of my existence. You were my downfall before I even knew my life was teetering on the edge.

Sure, I met my father’s family with your help – but, I still don’t really “know” them. In fact, I know them less than the few high school classmates I haven’t seen in 20 years, that are still on my friends list.  I’ve given you my addresses, my phone numbers – I’ve told you where I was at any given moment.  So, basically, Facebook – you have me by the ovaries. Like most every American with an account.

But I digress.

MJ and I connected on Facebook, along with a whole host of other Young American classmates – folks I hadn’t seen since high school.

And they all seemed quite forward. Everyone has an opinion of course, but an opinion AND a primer for world domination?  I jest, but you get the idea. My classmates acted like they owned the place.

MJ was no exception.  Tall, and ruggedly handsome. He had Leo DiCaprio good looks, with an extra 20 pounds and another 20 years.

I was experiencing a dry spell. What with Second Life and their shenanigans, and the online dating sites (both paid and free) coming up with absolute loser selections – I was, well.  Pretty horny.

So along comes MJ – he asks to meet for drinks at a local bar.

And he looks good.  And he smells….  Oh man.  Like a man.

I thought I might’ve scared him off that first night. I was a little aggressive.  Maybe it was the BBQ sauce, and the bib and the look of starvation in my eyes – but when I asked if he wanted to stay over, he declined… BEFORE TELLING ME HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND IN COLORADO.


He would ask me to go do something, and I – like a fool – would assume that he and his girlfriend broke up.

Karaoke at the Town Hall?


Roller Derby night with some highschool classmates?

Of course!

Dinner and polka-dancing at the Gasthaus?

Why not?

At the end of each “non-date” – he would declare his love for her, and in my head, I’d be all….  Never again, MJ. Never again, and walk away.

This would happen a half dozen times over the course of the next couple years.  Until I finally realized, one lonely Valentine’s night, “you know – I think was only there for appearances sake…”

Sounds crazy – but this is the kind of crazy I’ve been dealing with the past four years.


Back to the move.

After leaving the University, I did manage to stay friends with one person I worked with, Ani.  Ani, who was quite shy, was also quite intuitive. She sensed that I was in an emotional whirlwind, and that I was, once again, seeking a higher mind for some kind of psychic ease.

Ani recommended a local Buddhist organization, SGI – aka, Sokka Gakkai.  She took me to my first meeting, a member’s house in the city, but never attended again, claiming a rejuvenated interest in Jesus Christ.

Sounded legit.

Not to mention, I had always held an interest in the Buddhist faith. It’s their base philosophies of mind-body-soul connections, and being in tune with the natural world around you, that always made sense, even logically. That first meeting was amazing.  It was a women’s meeting, and everyone was pouring out their hearts – including me. We all took turns reading from that week’s publication from the main office, located in Japan.

I had even met a new friend, Micki – who, by an amazing occurrence of fate, or alignment of the stars, or phenomenal timing – announced that she was looking for a roommate.


Well, May 1st – exactly when I needed a new place!  And it was in her home, which I was stoked about – I was tired of apartment living.

Yes, indeed, the stars seemed to surely be in alignment.



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