Are you afraid that your life will change once you have children?
I don't have kids but I can tell from my own experience that my parents did not let kids drag them down.
Growing up, We went away a lot with my family,cousins, & with other friends.
We used to also go to my grandmother's house every Sunday. Us kids would play in our usualy spot outside or in the hallway while the parents would sit, gossip & have coffee.
My parents knew how to seperate time alone with eachother, time with the children and time alone. I never saw them compain about being parents. (Maybe because back then, the economy wasn't so bad and the women didn't need to go to work. Now-a-days both parents need to work to support the family. So whoever is raising the kid may not raise it to your standards - but that is another story.)
I would ask my non-married single friends & cousins (even my sisters) : If I ever have a baby, would they ditch me and not want to hang out anymore? They said "no wayyyy we would come over more!" But maybe when I have kid, that stuff wont even be in my mind to care enough.... I SAID MAYBE!
So being that I am married almost 2 yrs, no kids, I am trying to cram all of the things I would do that I would maybe miss out if I had kids. But then I think to myself... I can still go out when I have a kid.. My mother-in-law would love to watch my future child.. And also my parents (with notice).
We don't party all the time like we used to.
If you can put your child to bed at 8 and have your friends come over at 8:30/9... There ya go! You can still have your wine nights... If your husband doesn't mind you going for coffee in the neighborhood while the child sleeps - I am sure he won't mind staying in for 2 hrs.
And if you have a wedding - leave the kid home! GO OUT! dress up! (Unless if it is a family wedding - bring the child and dress him/her up as cute as you possibly can)
My sister Alexa was born when I was 14 yrs old. Maria (other sister) was 15 turning 16. We were kind of playing the mommy role along with our Mom. We learned how to changed her diaper, feed her formula. She trusted us to babysit while she went out to Atlantic city with my dad. If a teen can watch a baby - You can. She turned out the best!
Alexa is smart - book smart & street smart. She has the most common sense than many people I know and now she is 16 yrs old.
So ignore all of the movies that show m iserable people- yes it will be different and sometimes hard. But suck it up and be a fun parent when its needed. And discipline when needed as well. My parents did a great job with us (I mean come on ...I am awesome ha-ha jk) - and they never complained about being a parent.
Do you have postitive advice for people who want to become parents soon?
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