February 29 dad broke the news he had cancer. I could only travel to Mississippi three times. (Dammit for the strep throat then shingles! My body was not responding well to his news.)
The first visit I surprised him. The second visit he expected me. The third visit...
The memory of my second visit with dad is beautiful and will forever be cherished. In another writing platform, I wrote about our time together. I would like to share some of my writing...
“…I feel so much I want to write. My words flow onto paper. …create an illusion of organized thinking...then my thoughts and writing gradually veers off subject… so back to square one… I know, I know. At least I do not have a blank stare on my face...as I sit in front of my computer screen.
On the contrary, my eyes, heart and soul are full of emotion. It’s overwhelming… I have an abundance of thoughts and feelings...
It was a long visit not lacking in warmth, honesty, understanding and caring. Things I am Ok to share….
I observed a lot.
We talked a lot.
We drank early morning coffee together.
Step mom and I sat on the back deck and shared stories.
While dad cooked breakfast a couple of mornings, I acted as though I was reading, but I was watching his every move. All in silence. It was the *good* kind of silence….
We sat at the dining room table on a number of occasions. It even felt as though we enjoyed each other's company.
Things felt right.”
My visit with dad felt like *something wonderful*. It felt like H.O.M.E.
Just before I pulled out of dad’s drive way, he walked to my driver’s side window and said, “I wrote you a note. It’s in your visor. Don’t read it now. Read it at some point on the road.”
Dad's note is beautiful and yes, perhaps personal. Still, I am comfortable to share it with all eyes that happen to read this blog. Many of my close friends and family will understand why I chose to share such a personal note.
I believe it is by God's grace that ten days and a few meaningful words can heal a hurting heart...on both sides. Dad passed on four weeks after he wrote me this note.
I have included a song titled “HOME”.
Today I dedicate HOME to dad and our last time together.
Things felt right.......like HOME.
I choose to listen to this song
as though dad were speaking the words to me
about our last time together~
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