Remember how easy it was making a friend and being a friend when you were a child? You said hi to another student on the playground, shared the cookies that your Mom packed in your lunch at noon, and went to playdates.
Now, however, it's not so easy. The older I get, the more challenging it becomes, especially because the labels that I use for myself are (in no particular order): shy, awkward, and boring. Fun friend, hmmm?
Recently, I had an experience that made me wonder if I even understand friendship. A friend (I thought) called to ask me to dogsit for her. The dog is frail, blind, deaf and tends to bite, and I apologized but said I could not because I worried I wasn't capable of caring for the dog properly.
Furious, the woman yelled, "I've helped you hundreds of times. I'm always the one who listens to you and supports you." I stammered apologies as she slammed down the phone.
She's called a few times since and seems to either have forgotten this or sees nothing wrong with it. But I've made excuses not to linger on the phone with her.
I think about trying to talk to her about what she said. But I don't want to know anymore about what she really thinks of me: She's already hurt me too much.
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