Channel your inner tag line and don't annoy your Mother

4 years ago

May I ask you a very personal question?

Do you have a tag line for your blog? It's usually under the title and offers a brief glimpse into the mind of the blogger. I know I'm being forward but I really want to know.  I've been reading (again with the reading) that, if not properly researched and street-tested, your tag line could be dragging you down.

I don't want to be a droopy sock so I took to the Internet recently to conduct a wildly unscientific and heavily-biased poll. The results surprised me. There are some creative people out there, with interesting tag lines. They just need a little tweaking.

Subject Blog A:

Tag line: I do it for chew

You just had to pick pink. Do you even know me at all? You just had to pick pink. Do you even know me at all?

The blog was covered with tiny smiley hearts and an overly enthusiastic use of sweetheart-rose pink. At first I thought I'd come across a blogger with a speech impediment, writing about romance.  After all, one of the most touted tips on writing is write how you speak.

Was I wrong to assume this blogger had a lisp?

Turns out the blog was about their English bulldog and his chew toy collection.

Suggestion: add an article of speech

If you don't know which one, maybe THE bulldog can fetch THE grammar guide.

Subject Blog B:

Tag line: my life, from the rear

One guess as to what this blog is about. If you guessed a retrospective of this blogger's life, you'd be not totally cold. More glacial really. This blogger chose a photo blog...of obese people wearing jeans. Not her rear end in jeans but complete strangers. I'm all for walking into the propeller of sarcasm, but if you're going to photo-blog people and their muffin-top moments, don't sugar coat it. Put it right in your tag line.

Suggestion: take photos of your own rear end in jeans and blog about your life around the time you were wearing them -- especially if you've been on a Dr. Oz diet for what feels like forever

Subject Blog C:

God says thank you for your donation...and make sure you round up when you sign that check. God says thank you for your donation...and make sure you round up when you sign that check.

Tag line: I angst, and God answered

As an atheist, I almost passed this blog by. If you want a broader audience (and the chance to convert the damned) consider relocating God to your sidebar. I know you're supposed to put your god before all others but if he exists and is anything like his press, he won't mind.

I also don't think bitching about people who eat meat qualifies as angst. If there was a god and he didn't want us eating meat, he would have made lettuce taste like chicken.

Suggestion: consider changing your tag line to "Thump My Bible" and maybe Joel Osteen will invite you to write a check in the amount of your entire retirement fund to help support his ungodly lifestyle

Subject Blog D:

Tag line: centimental moments

There are times when punning is precocious. This is not one of those times. Unless your blog is about how being frugal scored you a deal on your wedding dress, or anything else in life you've desired, and you want to savor the moments, don't lose the "s."

Suggestion: keep the tag line and do write about your frugal finds -- readers love life-hack moments

Subject Blog E:

This is not the face of a happy Mom This is not the face of a happy Mom

Tag line: musings about my mother

If there's one topic that gets more attention among bloggers than mother's, I've yet to find it. Well, maybe kids. But the blogs about kids I found all had cute tag lines so I gave them a pass. Blogs about Mom? We all have issues with our parents and sometimes we have to write about them. If for no other reason than ranting so we don't do something extreme that's brought up and discussed to death at every family gathering.

But to dedicate all your posts to the good, bad, and ugly about Mom? Unless she's totally senile and doesn't know what a blog is, she's probably got a blog of her own and the last thing you want is for her to focus her attention on writing about the series of slackers you've been dating recently.

Suggestion: write about Dad instead -- which will distract your Mom when you just have to write about you latest boyfriend, who thinks a job is "boring" but who wants to run Google some day

Subject Blog F:

Tag line: attention must be paid

This blogger got it almost right. While her blog header features some...interesting images...she's a little overly fond of the ellipsis in her posts. A liberal arts blogger, she writes about anything and everything...paying attention to even the most mundane subjects.

Like tag lines on blogs.

Suggestion: stop featuring yourself in posts -- your therapist cautioned you to pay attention to that little foible

What does your tag line say about you?

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