BlogHer of the Week: Her Able Hands

8 years ago

What if your biggest stumbling block

Say you have an idea. A crazy, wonderful, huge idea. So you call on your courage, uproot your life, move a thousand or more miles, and arrive on the scene to...wait a little more.

Have you failed? Or are you just getting started?

In Transplanting, Growing and Thriving: Some Thoughts On Success, Blogger Kelly Ferry unearths rich insight while moving raspberry canes she planted in her mother-in-law's Ohio yard three years ago. Turns out that in the past three growing seasons, the New Yorker who blogs Her Able Hands has learned exactly why her first planting failed and the canes faltered in one part of the yard.

Now? The plants are thriving in more sun, along with a dozen others she had the faith in herself to add. Kelly reflects on what she's learned:

"Sometimes we have to try a lot of things to figure out what doesn‘t work first. Like me. Since moving from New York to Ohio I have needed to try a lot of things to find what makes me grow and thrive. Some of those things made my roots so dry they couldn't take in any nutrients at all, and they shaded me so much that I produced no fruit. But all of this trying has made me dizzy and I feel starved for some sense of success..."

Why does she feel starved when she's been doing so much? Kelly looks within -- and the resulting post is one we recommend to every woman who has a busy life and a secret dream. Turns out that Kelly's dream job is not to be a raspberry farmer. She's onto something entrepreneurial, a big idea that matches her passion for domain names with her love of food. But she hasn't been making the progress she wants to make.

The reader learns why -- and it's rich soil. Hidden in this blogger's lyrical sentences is a five-second therapy lesson that could be published under the title No Girl, It's NOT Just You Who Does This. In a frank tour of her own secret garden of entrepreneurial dreams, Kelly shares the inner dialogue that has been her stumbling block.

She's familiar with and tired of her own excuses -- and lists them.

Sample: "I'm still discovering what I want to do when I grow up."

She's afraid -- and goes there. This isn't a safe list of Afraids, it's a real list of insecurities.

Sample: "[T]he real reason I haven’t had any wild success is because I’m just not meant to. I was born to be mediocre."

Here's another: "The financial success will mean spiritual failure."

At the same time one of Kelly's voices won't stop doubting her, there's another increasingly excited voice who keeps insisting on her idea (which I won't share, you have to go read it yourself).

After listing all the reasons she couldn't, shouldn't and wouldn't succeed, this blogger still has her dream: "If I can do it?" Kelly asks herself and out bubble the reasons she keeps adding to her spreadsheet -- a business where she can be true to her personal mission, support her community and contribute to her family.

Is that too much to ask? No Kelly. That's why you're BlogHer of the Week. We believe in you. Go for it!

Thanks to everyone for continuing to send in your nominated posts. Remember to nominate individual posts, not entire blogs, and keep them coming! If you want to check out all the BlogHer of the Week posts, check out the BlogHer of the Week archive.

For Elisa, Jory and Lisa
BlogHer Co-founders

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