BlogHer BlogMe BlogU

4 years ago


I have returned!
(From that convention I mentioned a while back- you know- the Blogging conventionBlogHer13 in Chicago).

 I have returned hunched over, hungover, and happy.

 I have returned with a slew of new friends, a shitload of swag, and a pocket full of 'contacts'.

 Because I know you all tune-in to absorb my amazing words of wisdom, I'd like to share

Ten Things I Learned 
While Interacting With Five Thousand Women 
Under A Single Roof. 

     (Note: I hate lists, but the bloggerverse LOVES them and one of the things I learned was do as the bloggervere says. Sometimes. Sorta like when your mother told you to keep your legs crossed. Like that kinda 'sometimes'). 

 So put down your kid. Lock yourself in the car, and listen up.

1. Even though it is widely believed by Americans that yoga pants, a Jimmy Buffet tee-shirt, and neon running shoes are appropriate dress for almost any God damn situation- they are not. Dressing for Success is still an intelligent alternative to being invisible. I'm not talking about wearing a big orange hat (or anything that ridiculous), just maybe a little lipstick, and dry hair, and a bra. No one wants to see your girls getting off the escalator before your shoes.

2. A smile is an excellent way to say 'hello' to anyone, and at my age, with the corners of my voluptuous lips turning down into the empty wallets of my jowls, if you have to freeze a facial expression of h-a-p-p-i-n-e-s-s and c-o-m-e-h-i-t-h-e-r, do it. Or get a lift before you come. Come to think of it- get a lift in as many places as you can. 

3. Find your Tribe but don't pigeon hole yourself into just one. Women come in many shades of lipstick and there will be an opportunity to find a soul sista' when you've lost your  room key to the hotel down the block (opting to change in the 'at place' loo) and the gal in the next stall drops her moola in the toilet and needs a few bucks. Exchanges can be lifesavers, come with full length mirrors, and create a great opportunity to share a cab.

4. Remember your reality when, at a keynote speaker address, most around you are applauding some absofrickinlutely crazy-ass-three second sound byte of impossibility, of which, if you don't agree, you are seen as a traitor to your kind. No one can have it all ladies and do it all well. Pick your battles. Stand your ground. Preferably in heels.

5. Not everyone you LOVE on-line is going to be a ray of sunshine in person. Some are going to be younger, some older, some louder (blinking meekly), some shy, and to some, you will be invisible. Cut them a break. This can be stressful and overwhelming-except for the Bitch. I live for the bitch showdown- and you will lose. 

6. Eat well and often. Food is provided. But if you can't find the time, do not forget the benefits of liquid nutrition- especially if it's white and chilled.

7. Feel free to not speak and listen. For the Love Of God- feel free to do this.

8. Try to 'take-away' something from every break-out session, even if the agenda has not been ironed out, rehearsed, coordinated, or is even on point. Seriously- how can you teach someone to write funny? Have you read this post? (I shoulda taken better notes).

9. Don't be afraid to approach a wise women. We are very friendly.

And, finally, the big number 10, the most important thing of all...

10. Don't forget your Zoloft.

Cathy Chester 
(Very much an Empowered Spirit)

Yours Truly
She is even MORE fun then she looks!

Ellen Dolgen
(of Menopause Monday's)
celebrating Midlife freedom!
(among other things)

Stacia of Dried-On-Milk
Janie of Purveyor Of Fine Words
with the loud mouth in the orange hat.
Some of my Bloppy Bloggers!
Linda the Carpool Goddess,
Julie of JulieDeNeen2.0
the Orange Hat
Sandra of ApartFromMyArt

Bottoms up~ Cheryl

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