When my first daughter was born I was eager to know all the information a Mommy would need, I scoured the Internet for months preparing myself for illness, developmental milestones, the newest learning toys and anything that I could add to my arsenal of Mommy hood to prepare myself and my Darling Daughter.
Fast forward 7 years, add another child and the challenges of life and here I am.
Now let me state that in my opinion we're always unprepared when in experiencing anything for the first time but usually I have a heads up on things which are predictable.
My girls are in gymnastics, I've noted this in the past I think but with this sieve of a memory who knows..
My youngest has been in the gymnastics club for a year now, seriously this kid is a mini Mary Lou Retton.
Okay I'm dating myself but Mary was the most AMAZING gymnast when I was growing up.
My eldest decided to join the gym in January and her confidence is growing. She is an amazing child who sits back and watches how something is done until she gets the confidence to give it a shot. I didn't know how this would pan out but with the help of great coaches she's shocking me with her enthusiasm.
My Girls spend a ridiculous amount of time practicing cartwheels, handstands, moving the furniture to use as mats...you get the picture. It's a constant avoidance of little heels flipping in the air here.
I'm teaching them the ins and outs of the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser for the footprints halfway up the wall.
So now I'm a gymnastics Mom and apparently (I have a thing for titles) there's a whole subculture here I was unaware of.
Sitting watching my girls the other day I saw some of the parents wearing really cute jackets with the Club name Bedazzled on the back. Of course I wanted one, I love a bit of bling!!!
OK so I wanted to sparkle and belong to the whole Blingy Club Mommies ;)
So I very nicely said Hi in my most charismatic way and inquired politely about the jackets......I received the cold stare, looks exchanged by these Blingy Club Mommies and then a sigh....response: Only competition members can purchase these jackets.
There it is folks an entire aspect of this Club I was unaware of.
A feeling began to take me over, a voice from that Black box of my mind screamed EXCLUDED!
Dear Lord why didn't I KNOW?
I thanked them, keeping my outward appearance of "being in the know" and resumed watching my girls practice.
Now my fellow blogisphere friends we all have felt this feeling.
Of not being aware of something, of feeling unprepared but for myself it's an irrational reaction which takes place inside of me.
I was instantly offended by those Mean Mommies behavior, excluding me, by their obvious condescension. While this should be annoying it shouldn't make me feel the need to "fit in" at 38 years old.
It was a knee jerk feeling.
It's a character defect, one which I'm glad I'm aware of.
Because I didn't react, I didn't go to the coaches and ask for my children to be evaluated, to demand they be accepted into the competition level of training, I didn't make a fuss.
What I did do was take a breath and realize that I have these tendencies, shift my perspective and watch the competition kids, appreciate their efforts and then move my gaze to where my eldest was learning the bars.
I saw her timid smile as she spoke with her coach. I saw her trying her best and enjoying it.
I laughed with her as she clumsily tried again and again.
I watched my youngest perfecting her cartwheel and looking around to find me and jump up and down waving to me.
I was proud of my girls.
I was proud of myself for accepting my defects and working on changing them as clumsy as my efforts are, they are consciously progressing.
So while I may one day be a Blingy Club Mommy today I am happy being just a normal not always prepared Mommy of 2 FANFRIGGINTASTIC Gifts from God.
More from living