Beyonce. A newer, improved Madonna?

5 years ago

I'm sure this little news item made it to the top of your Saturday morning reading list.

Beyonce is shopping around an idea for a new documentary about her life. Isn't that what the Biography Channel is all about? Or TMZ. Or People. Or Entertainment Tonight. Or, or, or. And the list is endless.

Don't get me wrong. I adore the Bey! She's smart, savvy, and her thighs are silky smooth. And if you find yourself mopping the floor, select some of her tunes for your iPod and your butt cheeks will be as firm as two ripe peaches in no time.

It's just...is she trying to hard or what? She's got the man, the baby girl, the career and enough shoes to make the average woman cry. She's made some smart choices, career-wise. You can't help but see her face (or hair) promoting the latest line of products guaranteed to make you look fresh and dewy. (I can get that by working up a sweat fending off the squirrels in our backyard. With no impact on my credit card.)

I remember when Madonna started making it big in "the show." Critics gave her grief on everything from her singing to her choice of wardrobe. Remember that bra? While I was always afraid she'd poke somebody's eye out, I had a grudging admiration for her marketing skills. It's grown over the years and even today, with some of her questionable personal antics hitting the news, she still scores big on the success meter.

Big muscles and...well, big muscles.

I'm not sure why I'm acting all pissy about the Bey. Maybe it's because I'm calling her the Bey. And who started calling her that, anyway? It's what you'd name a cow and while she is big with it, she ain't no cow. But I think she is milking her fame for all its worth.

There I go again. Sorry, Bey Beyonce. I will say that when I heard she had signed up to take the lead in the remake of "A Star is Born" I got a little quiver deep down inside. I mean...the original stared Ms. Streisand. Or the Bar, as I fondly refer to her. (It's okay. We're tight.) I know she's got the hair but does she have the chops to take on a role like that?

While we wait for yet another remake of a first-time around fantastic film, let's see if we can't help Ms. Knowles come up with a title for her new documentary.

I'll put a ring on your finger if you vote. One of those plastic rings you find in the bottom of a Cracker Jack box. Those things are vintage!

Butt Cheeks: Never before seen footage.

Hair! Skip the relaxer and go au naturel.

I'll do it for free but you have to pay me.

How shoes made me the woman I am today!

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