Being an Escort Makes Me Feel Powerful & Confident

24 days ago
Image: Getty Images Design: Kenzie Mastroe/SheKnows
You know that show on Starz called “The Girlfriend Experience”? Well, that is my real life. Seriously – I sleep with rich men and get paid for it. I never intended to be an escort. But when I graduated with over $100,000 in student loans and struggled to get a job, I had to do something. “Why don’t you become a sugar baby?”, a friend jokingly suggested. It sounded ridiculous at the time, but notices of missed student loan payments started stacking up and I was going to ruin my credit if I didn’t find a way to make an extra $1,100 a month for those fucking student loans.
 
I signed up for an online service that pairs young, attractive women with wealthy men. I wasn’t sure what to expect. A bunch of dick pics in my inbox? Probably. Messages started pouring in and I was kind of shocked at how non-sexual they were. There were a lot of inquiries into my hobbies, places I’d like to visit, movie preferences. No dick pics. It seemed like a lot of these men were seeking  low-commitment companionship more than anything. I started talking to a few men and made arrangements to meet with a few of them the following week.
 
My first date was with a single, 37 year old investment banker. He took me to a restaurant where my lobster dinner cost $160. Dinner lasted for 3 hours. I was surprised how calm and relaxed I was. I made an alter-ego for myself. I used a fake name, created a fake background story and told him I grew up in a small town in Indiana – I have never been to Indiana. I didn’t want my new side-job spilling over into my personal life so I tried really hard to conceal my real identity for safety reasons. I was using a reputable online service, but still… you never know.   After dessert, he handed me a box. It was a gold Cartier bracelet. You know, that one that all the Kardashians wear. I couldn’t believe it! I was hooked. This job was amazing. Surprisingly, when we were ready to leave, he didn’t invite me back to his room for sex. He thanked me for the great evening, got me a car, handed me $500 in cash and said he would call me later in the week. I was relieved because frankly, I wasn’t sure I was ready for the sex part yet.
 
My second date was the following evening. This time the man was in his late fifties and he was married. He started talking about his wife and kids and it made me uncomfortable. After dinner, he gave me $500, we went our separate ways and I didn’t contact him again.
 
My third date was two days later. This man was in his late forties and a lawyer! He was insanely attractive, intelligent and our conversation flowed so freely. I had to keep reminding myself that this was a job. You can’t get personally attached in any way. He paid me after dinner and I went home alone.
 
I was a bit shocked. I had gone on 3 dates in one week, made $1,500 (and a baller piece of jewelry) and I didn’t have to have sex with anyone. When I signed up for this service, I was thinking I would try it out for a few months to help get me back on my feet financially. That was 4 years ago.  

I didn’t have sex with a client until 3 weeks after my first date. It was with the investment banker. He asked me to go to Vegas with him for a long weekend – all expenses paid of course. I agreed and the first day we lounged and drank by the pool. After a few drinks he started getting pretty touchy-feely, but not in a pushy way or a way that made me uncomfortable. Actually, it was kind of a turn on because I was totally in control of the situation. I literally felt like I was acting in a big blockbuster movie or something. After the pool, we went to a fancy dinner then came back to the hotel and he bluntly stated that it was time to have sex. So we did and it was nice. Nothing dramatic or crazy kinky. Just nice, enjoyable sex. I made $1,500 that night.

 
I continued my relationship with the banker for two years. We had sex about twice a month and he took me on 3 vacations in those two years. We talked on the phone a lot. He really loved to vent about his job and his asshole boss. It was boring to listen to, but whatever. I was paying off my student loans and it was easy work. After two years he said he wanted something more real. He was almost 40 by then and said he needed to stop having so much fun and get more serious with his personal life. It was a bummer, but all a part of the job. 
 
Now, 4 years after I started, I have 3 clients that I see regularly. One has no interest in having sex with me. He likes to watch me masturbate, but we never have sex. I do have sex with the other two but honestly, the sex is just a small part of this job. Most of these men are looking for someone to go to events with them, to go on vacations with them, someone to give presnets to. They're lonely and confused/insecure. They want a friendship mostly and sex sometimes.
 
I have been able to pay off my loans in the past 4 years. I often think "OK, you're financially stable, time for a real job." but I've actually really come to enjoy being a sugar baby. Despite what most people think, I am always in control of the situation and it makes me feel empowered and confident. I get to be my own boss, create my own schedule and I'm not stsressed to the max over money. Sure, it's not all great. I have been in some questionable situations and some scary situations but for the most part, the men are all respectful and kind. I am a bartender too, but I can't live off that salary so I don't see myself leaving the escort business any time soon. 
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